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Friday, December 12, 2008


One thing I can't stand about television is for characters who belong to a tight knit group of friends or colleagues to all have sex with each other. This concept I call Orgyvision. Take Grey's Anatomy for example. Every character on that show has partner switched more often than Illinois Governors get sent to prison. How do these fictional surgeons have time to operate on any patients when they are always operating on each other?

Saved by the bell got it right. That show believed in monogamy. Zach and Kelly, Slater and Jesse, Screech and his hand. Nothing scandalous there, just wacky teenagers growing up normal in high school. Contrary to Saved by the Bell the show Friends was another one of the orgy bed hopping TV series. Despite Ross and Rachel being in love the six friends were extremely friendly with one another. Even Joey and Rachel hooked up at one point. I don't even want to know what Ross did with his pet monkey. Say what you want about Polygamists but at least in Polygamy people get married. Although they need to let women take multiple husbands as it would guarantee someone would take out the trash.

The message that television provides to young kids is build friendships and relationships with the opposite sex. If something goes wrong in your main relationship hook up with one of your best friends later in the week. That certainly won't lead to any dire consequences down the line.

On the TV show Lost Kate is in a love triangle with Sawyer and Jack. To boost ratings this season she needs to get with Sayid, Hurley, the Smoke Monster, and a Coconut. Can you imagine what orgyvision would have been like if it spread to cartoons such as the smurfs? Poor Smurfette and Vanity Smurf would be sore (yes he's a dude). I suppose the bright side would be no more blue balls.

Unfortunately I think orgyvision is here to stay. Ratings are king and nothing is more intriguing to humans than watching others make bed hopping an olympic sport. Jerry Springer and tabloid magazines would not have thrived if this wasn't the case. I leave this discussion with this final thought... Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!


GetSmartGal said...

Orgyvision it sounds like something out of a kinky version of Willie Wonka. ;-) Good stuff Tim.

ssgreylord said...

yet again i find myself asking, "where does he come up with this stuff?" you are way too funny, tim. thanks for the friday afternoon laugh.

Dutch Schultz said...

Thanks for the post. I had to give it a review and digg cuz it made me laugh.


Kimmylyn said...

Soo true..But I kinda heard that Screech and Mr. Belding were an item or something like that.. and then Jesse moved to Vegas and was in some show or something.. :)

BlogbyDonna said...

Funny...I never had a circle of friends where we had sex with each other. This was an entertaining read, Tim.

David Tamayo said...

GetSmartGal is right, ORGYVISION does sound like something out of Willie Wonka....Oh wait, excuse me while I try to remove these images from my mind...get away from me you evil pumpaloompas.

Wadrick Jones said...

I had a circle of friends who slept with everyone except me. :(