It's july which means beaches, barbecues, and two more months to football because lets face it baseball sucks. It also means we have some new great humor tees and some fantastic graphic t-shirts for this month.
Our first new design is Love Conquers all. It features a giant sacred heart burning with love being worshiped by three tiny hearts. If you believe in love and humanity you should put this on your must get list. It's probably more of a shirt for the ladies but if you're a guy and want to get one that is fantastic. This is a great cute t-shirt design for girls with each bowing heart serving as a reminder that love conquers all. If the Aztecs would have remembered that they would have whipped Cortez's butt.
If you hate little heart people bowing at the feet of the great sacred heart we also offer the design with just the great sacred heart. This is because we like all of our customers except for Frank. If your name is Frank and are reading this I'm referring to a different Frank. Anyways wear this t-shirt at the mall and you'll get a bunch of that is so cute comments or that is so precious. Either way you'll get positive attention.
Our next shirt in our line of great graphic tees is Every Time You Eat Meat A Hippie Drops A Hacky Sack. This shirt is pretty literal. Every time you eat meat a hippie loses his concentration and lets the hacky sack drop to the ground. Meat is cryptonite to a hippie and especially affects their foot skills. Veal is the greatest offender to hippies as anytime veal is eaten not only do they whiff kicking the hacky sack they also punch themselves in the face. I don't really have anything against hippies as they have some pretty noble ideas with exception to their inability to shower or wear deodeorant.
Wear this cheap graphic tee to a barbecues as their is sure to be many a meat eater that will give you a high five. Do not wear this shirt at a PETA conference or at a whole foods market. Although your shirt will have meat on it only real meat will stop their legs from working. You will get kicked by strong hacky sack playing hippie legs a lot if you wear this t-shirt in their presence.
Next in our awesome humor t-shirts for July we have the need to get laid equation. The concept of this shirt is not too hard to figure out. Unless you are a physicist or in aeronautics solving quadratic equations all day is pretty pointless and is definitely not going to impress the members of the opposite sex. In these times a facebook account and attending college is all it takes to hook up. Leave all the einstein stuff to the chess team or Matt Damon/ Russell Crow from the movies. Yes I know Matt Damon and Russell Crow got laid in their movies by being math geniuses but they were Matt Damon and Russel Crow. Jaime Escalante got no loving even will all the inner city kids he taught. Wear this shirt at funny college t-shirt in the dorms and you'll get loving in no time unless you're a jerk. Don't wear it in your engineering class or else you may have pi shoved in your face.
Finally we have our new t-shirt design on zazzle My bologna has a first name but no social security number. This funny graphic t-shirt is a reminder that you better get a background check on a piece of bologna if you are going to hire it. It only has a first name, no social security number, and that green card looks like they took some monopoly money and had it laminated. Darn that clever bologna. Bologna is so sketchy that sometimes it tries to go to subway and pass itself off as salami. Wear this shirt everywhere! Bologna has lost popularity in recent years and it needs to make a comeback.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Stop it celebrities
All the recent news of celebrity deaths is bumming me out. First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett, Micheal Jackson, Billy Mays, and then Steve McNair. I'm sure I left one out. That stupid show celebrity death match came true and I'm not amused at the carnage it left. It's important to realize that all human life is important and that anyone who has died deserves to be remembered. In a sense it is sad that TMZ feels the need to report that Michael Jackson had a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of carrots on Dec 14th, 1989. The adoration and attention that mega celebrities get while they live is even worse than they die. All their skeletons and secrets come out. We know exactly how much Michael Jackson is in debt, that Steve McNair rented a condo with his friend, and that Billy Mays was hired to sell lint. The last part was made up, but still we all know too much.
With Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and Steve McNair passing at such young ages kids are going to start having mid life crises at 12. At least most of them won't have to worry about losing the Xbox in a break up with the little neighbor girl down the street. They say that death comes in threes, well so do the Jonas Brothers. Coincidence I say not. Anyways death, taxes, and Disney producing teen musical acts with no talent are three things that will likely never change as long as their is humanity on earth. R.I.P. to all celebrities and non celebrities alike. I hope you will all be remembered.
With Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and Steve McNair passing at such young ages kids are going to start having mid life crises at 12. At least most of them won't have to worry about losing the Xbox in a break up with the little neighbor girl down the street. They say that death comes in threes, well so do the Jonas Brothers. Coincidence I say not. Anyways death, taxes, and Disney producing teen musical acts with no talent are three things that will likely never change as long as their is humanity on earth. R.I.P. to all celebrities and non celebrities alike. I hope you will all be remembered.
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