Free tshirt scavenger hunt

Welcome to the Soge Shirts scavenger hunt! We're going to give away three prizes and the contest ends Friday Oct. 1st.

1. First and second place get to pick a t-shirt of their choice from http://www.sogeshirts.com. Sorry no sweatshirts or long sleeve shirts just t shirts.

2. Third place gets their choice of a Bananas gone wild shirt, Where rainbows come from shirt, or an OMG crack yay shirt. Winners will be picked from random.org.

There are many ways to gain multiple entries including participating in our scavenger hunt. You can even get an entry by getting us to check out your favorite blog or website and commenting. Here are the ways to enter.

1. Share our Facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/sogeshirtsfunnytshirts with just five of your friends minimum. So easy. (2 entries)

2. Tell us your own personal favorite blog or website by emailing us at info@sogeshirts.com We will comment on it. We love to get to know our fans and customers. (2 entries)

3. Tweet our contest on twitter: RT @sogeshirts Free #tshirt scavenger hunt! Details here. http://bit.ly/9NaJqH #contest ( 1 entry)

4. Go to http://www.sogeshirts.com and tell us what shirt is your favorite. Post it on our facebook fan page (2 entries)

5. Post a blog about us. Can be really short about why you love our tshirts. If you link to us by using this anchor text : funny t shirts It's real easy just type in funny t shirts and highlight funny t shirts and then hit insert link. Link to http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/3606686 and that is it.

Scavenger hunt entries! Now some fun ways to enter

1. Find a blog post about Soge Shirts that is not from sogeshirts.com or sogeshirts.blogspot.com and send us the link at info@sogeshirts.com (hint: google is your friend) 1 entry

2. Why do vampires always get the girl and zombies never do? Find the answer on http://www.sogeshirts.blogspot.com. Hint the blog post is from 2008 so find the blog archive located down a bit on the right side bar. You can copy and paste the whole blog post with the answer to us at info@sogeshirts.com 1 entry

3. Do you have a zazzle account? If not you can register at zazzle.com within a minute or so and comment on one of our funny t shirt designs at http://www.zazzle.com/sogeshirts (1 entry for one comment, two entries for two comments)

4. What physical place did the idea for Soge Shirts start at? (hint it's on our website somewhere.) 1 entry

Remember for every entry that you participate in to let us know by commenting on this blog post so we can keep track! Good luck and have fun.

Basic human needs: Unlimited Power

I'm a simple man. I don't need a lot of things to make me happy. Most of the time warm delicious food and a roof over my head is all I need. Every now and then some alcoholic beverages do the trick as well. However sometimes my ego gets the best of me and wants more, a lot more! Unlimited Power. The Power to do as I please when I want, where I want, and with who I want. No bosses to answer to, no bills to worry about, and a stress free life. In the old days two kids, a dog, and a picket fence were the American dream. Not good enough I say. Get greedy and go after Unlimited Power. Even if you fall short and you get limited power you are going to be feeling pretty good. It's time to rise up and not be happy with the status quo with this funny text t-shirt below called "I Just Want Unlimited Power."

Who needs this shirt? People fed up with current events, the economy, heatwaves, the Jonas Brothers (or at least two out of three)etc. Also if you have a sense of humor you are going to love this funny joke t shirt as laughing really is the best medicine (next to NyQuil of course.) This shirt is going to be an attention grabber and people will stop to read it. Just make sure not to wear it during the Tour De France or a cyclist may stop to read your shirt and cause a crash.

What's not to like about this shirt? Nothing. It has all the necessities of life all in one shirt. You have food, shelter, and unlimited power. It's like the Swiss army knife of shirts. Your Soge army knife of shirts starts for as low as $11.99 so come on down and get your Unlimited Power t-shirt today. Once you have this shirt all those goals you have set forth will be as easy as pie. You'll just look down at your shirt and start attacking the goals like ninjas on steroids. Now if you are unable to get Unlimited Power which you shouldn't at least you will see that you have warm food and a roof over your head. So this hilarious witty tee shirt is both inspiring and makes you humble. Double win.

And the winner is...

Just wanted to thank everyone so much for entering our bananas gone wild t shirt giveaway. We had 63 entries and lucky number 23 was the winner. That turned out to be Lisa King or for those of you on twitter @lisanorfolk Once again thanks so much to all those who entered. Don't worry though if you didn't win this time. Our next free t shirt giveaway will be soon. This time a funny t shirt for men will be given away. Ladies can enter too though of course. We couldn't run these contests without the support of all you followers, readers, and fans on facebook. Thanks again from both Dave and Tim.

Farmville: The Video Game!

I have never myself played Farmville but as I understand it the game does not have an end. As a former recovering gamer who used to waste countless hours playing video games I cannot fathom playing a game that does not end. Today on the Soge Shirts blog I'm going to free all Facebook users once and for all as my protagonist Farmville Franny will attempt to beat the game Farmville.

As the game starts Farmville Franny is looking for the magical rake of justice that will finally bring rain to her dry farmland so her crops will grow. She know she must defeat a multitude of farm evil. Here are the villains she must defeat and each villains strengths and weaknesses.

Golden Chicken Little- Golden Chicken little is exactly like regular chicken little quite scared and frightened. He is by far the easiest of the Farmville enemies. All Franny must do is press the A button for threat and Golden Chicken little will give her a golden egg and run like the sky is falling. This golden egg can be used later.

Captain Moodur- Captain Moodur is a much more difficult opponent for Franny. He is a murderous cow and is directly responsible for the Chick Fil A eat more chiken cows who are his henchmen. His moves that Franny must avoid are the uddercut which is where he uses his udders to uppercut Franny. His most dangerous move is unpasteurized milk in which he shoots organic milk into your mouth. To defeat Captain Moodur Franny must find the mighty Mcdonalds meat packing plant.

The Skinless Potato- This level three bad guy is a potato with no skin and this is very angry. They say he may be Mr. Potato heads less famous older brother and thus became insane due to all the attention his plastic surgery loving brother was getting. The Skinless potato's moves that Franny must avoid are the spud scud in which the skinless potato peels a piece of himself with a knife and launches it at Farmville Franny's head and the tater crater. The Tater crater has never been used before but rumors are that the skinless potato has no genitals and that the crater involves something with his lack of genitals. Needless to say Farmville Franny must avoid this at all costs.

The Bowl Weevil- The bowl weevil is a pest that destroys crops but the one crop he never destroys is Marijuana. Most of the time the bowl weevil is too lazy to even attempt to get off its magic couch to destroy crops. It spends most of its days trying to turn the skinless potato into potato chips to cure its munchies. The bowl weevils main threat to Franny is that he will attempt to befriend her and get her to take a hit with him. If Franny can't resist his very persuasive phrase "just one quick one, just one" she may never get find the magical rake of justice or get employed by a home depot.

Farmville Users- The second to last villain in the game is Farmville users. Farmville users never want the game to end and will keep recruiting you to join Farmville like you were joining the skull and bones society at yale or a very charismatic cult. They will try to bribe Franny with Farmville gifts such as coins, chickens, cats, and even rats if that is what you are into. Anything to get Facebook users into their Farmville fam. For Franny to defeat them she must delete many of her Facebook friends and avoid adding new Facebook friends.

Colonel Kernel- Colonel Kernel is a well decorated piece of corn that has served in the Farmville army for many years. Recently he became elected as the head dictator of Farmville. He is the last boss in the game and only smashing his head with the golden egg can defeat him. His main weapons are his patented "oh no its stuck in my teeth" attack where he annoys you into submission by getting his corn stuck into your teeth. He also can change forms into ethanol which is usually quite ineffective. Once Franny defeats the Colonel she must shuck him to receive the magical rake of justice.

Good luck Franny in defeating Farmville. No one has done it yet but may you become a legend!

Cuddle party rap

In Sweden people are getting together to have cuddle parties in which people get together to touch each other in a non sexual way. I'm sure its only a matter of time before Swedish rappers begin to brag about their cuddling conquests so I decided I would beat them to the punch. My rap name will be Vanilla Nice and this rap is entitled "I'm gonna cuddle you."

I take command like a quarterback in the huddle
Girl you know I won't be subtle
cause girl we about to cuddle
I'm gonna cuddle you.

Like a pack of sleeping puppies curling up to their mom
My non sexual prowess goes to the break of dawn
so make sure to put your sweatpants and sweatshirt on
I'm gonna cuddle you

Chorus:
Girl I just want to hug and lightly touch
I hope its not too much.
These fuzzy feelings I need not force
There won't be intercourse.

Columbus may have sailed the ocean blue
Thomas Jefferson told us what to do
George Clooney may have made love to you
but girl he never got to cuddle you.

When you need your cuddle fix like that
hit me up on that yahoo chat
I'll be your warm personal teddy bear
So bring over a blanket to share

Chorus:
Girl I just want to hug and lightly touch
I hope its not too much.
These fuzzy feelings I need not force
There won't be intercourse.

Where Rainbows Come From featured on I Am the Trend TV Tonight

Hey guys exciting news today. Our shirt Where Rainbows Come From seen above is going to be reviewed by the Tshirt and music review guys from I Am The Trend Television.

We need as many Soge supporters as we can get tonight at 9 pm eastern 6 pm pst over at http://www.justin.tv/staticontv so come check out I am the Trend TV tonight at 9 pm eastern. If you register at justin.tv for free you can even chat in the chat room and root us on. We may get some haters because I am the Trend usually reviews graphic tshirts instead of funny t shirts so any support you can throw our way will be much appreciated. Dave and I hope you can make it.

Rob from T-Shirt Strategy interviews David Cree from Soge shirts

Hey everyone Tim from Soge shirts here. Exciting news our friend Rob from the ladies clothing line Lady Umbrella interviewed my partner in crime David Cree about the Funny Tees he designs, our philosophy on pricing, plans for the future and more. If you think this is going to be a boring interview think again. Here is a short snippet in which David discusses how he came up with the idea for the "Every time you Eat meat a hippie drops a happy sack shirt"



Rob - Every time you eat meat a hippie drops a hacky sack - I laughed when I saw this. You happen to be at a bbq and witness said event or are you the hapless hacky sack hippie?

David - I used to live out of my car for a few months, and carried multiple hacky sacks around to all the people's places I crashed at. Met many different people, and a few were hippies. Great, wonderful, amazing people, not because they associated with the hippie group, but of who they are. We talked long and hard about the circle of life, and how you have to keep the hacky sack going to everyone to complete the circle. When it dropped we joked about people dying, or trees falling every time someone drops the hacky sack.

Catch the rest of the interview over at T-Shirt Strategy: Soge Shirts Interview

humor tees in July

It's july which means beaches, barbecues, and two more months to football because lets face it baseball sucks. It also means we have some new great humor tees and some fantastic graphic t-shirts for this month.

Our first new design is Love Conquers all. It features a giant sacred heart burning with love being worshiped by three tiny hearts. If you believe in love and humanity you should put this on your must get list. It's probably more of a shirt for the ladies but if you're a guy and want to get one that is fantastic. This is a great cute t-shirt design for girls with each bowing heart serving as a reminder that love conquers all. If the Aztecs would have remembered that they would have whipped Cortez's butt.

If you hate little heart people bowing at the feet of the great sacred heart we also offer the design with just the great sacred heart. This is because we like all of our customers except for Frank. If your name is Frank and are reading this I'm referring to a different Frank. Anyways wear this t-shirt at the mall and you'll get a bunch of that is so cute comments or that is so precious. Either way you'll get positive attention.

Our next shirt in our line of great graphic tees is Every Time You Eat Meat A Hippie Drops A Hacky Sack. This shirt is pretty literal. Every time you eat meat a hippie loses his concentration and lets the hacky sack drop to the ground. Meat is cryptonite to a hippie and especially affects their foot skills. Veal is the greatest offender to hippies as anytime veal is eaten not only do they whiff kicking the hacky sack they also punch themselves in the face. I don't really have anything against hippies as they have some pretty noble ideas with exception to their inability to shower or wear deodeorant.

Wear this cheap graphic tee to a barbecues as their is sure to be many a meat eater that will give you a high five. Do not wear this shirt at a PETA conference or at a whole foods market. Although your shirt will have meat on it only real meat will stop their legs from working. You will get kicked by strong hacky sack playing hippie legs a lot if you wear this t-shirt in their presence.

Next in our awesome humor t-shirts for July we have the need to get laid equation. The concept of this shirt is not too hard to figure out. Unless you are a physicist or in aeronautics solving quadratic equations all day is pretty pointless and is definitely not going to impress the members of the opposite sex. In these times a facebook account and attending college is all it takes to hook up. Leave all the einstein stuff to the chess team or Matt Damon/ Russell Crow from the movies. Yes I know Matt Damon and Russell Crow got laid in their movies by being math geniuses but they were Matt Damon and Russel Crow. Jaime Escalante got no loving even will all the inner city kids he taught. Wear this shirt at funny college t-shirt in the dorms and you'll get loving in no time unless you're a jerk. Don't wear it in your engineering class or else you may have pi shoved in your face.

Finally we have our new t-shirt design on zazzle My bologna has a first name but no social security number. This funny graphic t-shirt is a reminder that you better get a background check on a piece of bologna if you are going to hire it. It only has a first name, no social security number, and that green card looks like they took some monopoly money and had it laminated. Darn that clever bologna. Bologna is so sketchy that sometimes it tries to go to subway and pass itself off as salami. Wear this shirt everywhere! Bologna has lost popularity in recent years and it needs to make a comeback.

New t-shirts for May

Rainbows come from a magical place, not science and everyone knows
that. Since rainbows are magical it only makes sense that they come
from a magical mythical creature such as the unicorn. Despite the
unicorns beauty and magical qualities a unicorn can not create a
rainbow out of nothing. It releases the rainbow out of a bodily
function known to them as passing beauty and known to us as passing
gas or farting. Everyone has bodily functions, just unicorns are
better at producing 7 different beautiful colors out of their toots.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6647724


Our next shirt is genuis/genius.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6629880


Yes they are two different shirts. By wearing one you are saying to the
world I am a brilliant mind and am proud enough to tell everyone about
it. I like sudoku, crossword puzzles, and enjoy mensa meeting
biweekly. By wearing the other shirt you are saying I like to wear
funny and ironic t-shirts and intelligent people will get the joke.
I'll let you decide which shirt is which since I assume everyone
reading out there are geniuses.

Our last great graphic t-shirt is available at
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6713797
Welcome to fantasy Island! This shirt beats the pants off the tv show get it? The dancing red on the shirt indicates a playful nature of things to come. Any
fantasy that you can imagine that is rated pg 13 in nature can be
achieved as a result of buying this t-shirt. We can't be responsible
for all you moms leaving your hubbys for Brad Pitt or George Clooney.
The other great benefit to the shirt is you are automatically much
more friendly than a walmart greeter. They can only welcome people to
walmart while you welcome them to an island of fantasy. What is better
an adventure of a lifetime or twenty cents off of Scott paper towels?

Tim

Funny t-shirts: Join soge club

As some of you may not know a few days ago we redesigned our funny t-shirt shop http://sogeshirts.com Our site is now more organized, cleaner, has more shirts, and is able to leap buildings in a single bound. We would love everyone who reads the blog to sign up to soge club on the home page by leaving your email, answering a few questions, and confirming your subscription in your email. Soge club will very rarely be used for updates on new shirts and bargains. Instead you will receive special funny emails written by me, some odd or amusing t-shirts from around the web, and a toy prize. Ok maybe not a toy prize but we will throw in some prizes in there every once in a while. You can sign up directly here http://sogeshirts.com/signupform.html Also check out our about me section where Dave and I post our funny story of how the t-shirt company got started. Feel free to give us feedback and let us know how superkickassomegawesome the site is or if you think it sucks keep it to yourself. Just kidding tell us that too.

Also here are some of our latest t-shirt designs. Here is a funny social media t-shirt poking fun at twitter. For those of you that don't use twitter the @ replay crushing the bird represents when you talk to one of your twitter friends. If you have over a 1000 like me then you can get overwhelmed with @ replies or twitter will crash. Thus the bird gets crushed.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6373867





Here's our new cute kids t-shirt I color outside the lines. Its for the rebel kid or the kid that has no artistic talent such as myself.

http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6278947



We are also going to be making some really terrific graphic t-shirts. Here is a great skull pirate shirt.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/5966909


Finally we put up a funny graphic t-shirt making fun of heads vs tails. Heads and Tails want to end their rivalry once and for all.
http://www.sogeshirts.com/store/cpshop.cgi/soge/sogeshirts/6343584

The first human clone

He's on American Idol, an E news show, hosts a radio program in southern California, co hosts rocking new years eve with Dick Clarke I'm convinced that Ryan Seacrest has cloned himself. There is no other possible way he can do all these things at once and stay that cheery and androgynous. He must have cloned himself or made enthusiastic Simon Cowell handling robots of himself. I stick with the clone theory though because Seacrest still possesses some humanity amidst his smorgasbord of hollywood jobs. He's working so hard that even Oprah and Donald Trump are telling him to take it easy. There is this joke that Chuck Norris can defeat anything and anyone but I think he would get Seacrested. The Seacrest clones are too fast and too enthusiastic.

Seacrest may be a lot older than he looks. Who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby? Seacrest. Who built stonehenge? Seacrest clones of course and they whisteled the whole time. Most important why is the economy bad? The Seacrest borgs have taken up all the jobs and they aren't sharing. They especially are taking up all the waiter, concierge, and host jobs. You can't compete with their hard work, service with a smile, and the years of Simon Cowell putdowns have made them resistant to any negative complaints or shouts.

The question is how can you stop the Seacrest army? First of all bazookas don't work. The best way is to counter the enthusiasm of a Seacrest is with mega enthusiasm. Seacrest will then attempt to supermegaoutpep you and may self destruct. Do not use any drugs when attempting to outsunshine the seacrest as he has drug sniffing dogs partnering up with Seacrests all over town that will bite. Also cause drugs are bad mmkay. Science may not be ready for human cloning but American Idol, E news daily, star 107.1, stonehenge, and waiter jobs are so be careful out there.

New weeks resolutions

People love to make new years resolutions but I don't even bother. Goals are great and all, but year long goals are too general and long term for me. In my opinion making new day resolutions or new week resolutions is a lot more effective. A new years resolution of losing 40 pounds sounds like a great goal but there is no timetable leaving not much personal responsibility. If you're a regular gym user how often have you seen the person with the new headband and sweatpants show up to steal the last treadmill in January? Instead of being angry I laugh cause I know by February he will be seen less at a gym than a rap artist performing at the country music awards.

Its not that the guys new years goal was a bad one its just that he didn't pace himself. Its like trying to sprint in a marathon. If he set a weekly goal of going to the gym three times a week he would not be stressed out trying to burn all his holiday fat. Going to the gym is a skill just like anything else. You're not going to be ripped like Arnold overnight just like someone learning to cook isn't going to be Rachel Ray by February. Set tiny daily goals reach those goals and keep improving. Do this and next year you can brag about keeping up with your new years resolutions while I sit on the couch stuffing myself with see's candies.

Monopoly's Mr. Moneybags falls on hard times

This week Soge Shirts got to interview Mr. Moneybags from the board game monopoly. He has fallen on hard times during this economic crisis as he is unable to sell any of his properties since no one has money to buy. We caught up with him sniffing glue at Baltic avenue.

Soge shirts: Mr. Moneybags I just saw that you were trying to sell Marvin Gardens on craigslist for 3000 dollars? Is that true?

Mr. Moneybags: Hell yes its true do you think 3000 is too high? I can go lower I'll sell it to you for twelve bucks and a dime bag.

Soge shirts: No thanks. With no income coming in how are you adjusting to your life as a common man?

Mr. Moneybags: Not very well I'll tell you what. I used to have three ways with miss scarlett from clue and Princess Frostine from candyland. Last week I hooked up with Mr. Peanut and Pop from Rice krispies.

Soge shirts: Well at least you popped a nut I hope just kidding.

Mr. Moneybags starts to cry.

Soge shirts: Sorry that was inappropriate. How are your investments in utilities and the railroads doing?

Mr. Moneybags: I sold those years ago to buy the first car to run on that corn shit. Who knew when times are tough that people would still pay for water and electricity.

Soge shirts: If the property market continues to hover or decline whats next for Mr. Moneybags?

Mr. Moneybags: I'm going to pass go 5000 times to make another million you asshole. I'll have to move in with my son or steal Wilfred Brimley's identity. We look somewhat alike.

Soge shirts: Aside from your tumbling finances do you have any regrets?

Mr. Moneybags: My ties to Halliburton really screwed me. I donated to the Bush campaign and thought that Cheney would make me billions with those sweet defense contracts but instead Cheney shot me in the back on a quail hunt.

Sign Twirling

I find sign twirling as advertising to be very amusing. First of all when they hire the kid to twirl the sign upside down and spin it i can't see what company they are trying to promote. Maybe try a gentle sway or a light dip so i can see the barber shop I've been missing out on. The second thing about sign twirling is that everyone is doing it. In Rancho Bernardo a few months ago there were so many sign twirlers on every corner I was worried that they were going to form gangs. East sign versus West sign. That is a scary proposition. Another thought I just had was do people who sign twirl put sign twirler or sign holder on their resumes? I'm guessing not. Probably they put vice president of urban marketing or something like that.

One way to curb unemployment in this country is to use the homeless as sign twirlers. Homeless people are often holding up signs like will work for food, or veteran, or Why lie? I need a beer. ( I really saw this sign last week) All they need to do is shake the sign a bit more and show some more enthusiasm and they will get what they want from their old sign.

For those readers of mine that are into good music I recommend the rock band trouble in the wind. Take a listen at some of the songs from their myspace page and let me know what you think. http://www.myspace.com/troubleinthewind Also make sure to enter our blog review contest http://sogeshirts.blogspot.com/2008/10/blog-review-contest.html

Blog review contest

WIN A FREE T-SHIRT
My buddy Michael Wong and I are putting on a blog review contest. Here are the rules to participate.


1.Simply review both our sites in a few detailed paragraphs
A. http://bigmoneylist.blogspot.com
B.http://sogeshirts.blogspot.com/

2.Tell us your favorite shirt from http://sogeshirts.com

3.Please leave the review URL as a comment on both our blog sites.

The wonderful prizes are these

1st place winner: Free sogeshirts.com t-shirt of your choice + Reciprocal Review of your blog/ site from me.

2nd place winner: Reciprocal Review of your site from me.

3rd place winner: Small blurb and linkback

Contest closes on Novemember 12th.
The entries will be judged by blogging guru, Bridget Ayers over at http://thegetsmartblog.com/

Hurricane names

Have you ever wondered who picks the hurricane names and why they picked that name? Probably not but I'm just weirder than you so I did some research. They pick hurricane names years in advance, and let me tell you there are some pretty crappy hurricane names. Hurricanes should have dickhead names like Ike ala Ike turner who was a dickhead. The name fits as the hurricane causes destruction and does whatever the heck it wants. Here are some awful upcoming hurricane names in the next few years.

2008 Hurricanes http://geography.about.com/od/physicalgeography/a/2008names.htm

1. Hurricane Nana- If the hurricane season makes it to the N"s which is very likely then here comes hurricane Nana. This hurricane is going to cause young children to be terrified of their grandmothers for life. No more apples pies and a warm smile. Now Nana is capable of blasting you with a fire hose. Truly a terrible hurricane name.

2. Hurricane Rene- Hurricane Rene just doesn't strike much fear into me. It's a french name so I'm going to assume the hurricane is going to surrender. I might become one of the idiots that tries to stay in my house until water comes past my head and I drown.

3. Tie for the last worst hurricane name of 2008 Hurricane Teddy/ Hurricane Wilfred- Teddy Ruxpin and teddy bear sales are about to plummet. Hurricane Wilfred is an odd choice for a hurricane name, but it makes those few unfortunate souls named Wilfred 300 percent tougher.

Hurricane names 2009 http://geography.about.com/od/physicalgeography/a/2009names.htm

The 2009 batch didn't really have any names that I could make stupid puns about so I'll pass.

Hurricane names 2010- http://geography.about.com/od/physicalgeography/a/2010hurricane.htm

1. Hurricane Hermine- Don't worry Harry Potter fans. Its Hermione not Hermine. Still this is a name that I didn't even know existed. Are their that many hurricanes out there that we have to resort to weird names? You aren't going to see Hermine at the gift shop for one of those novelty name plates.

2. Hurricane Igor- Igor's never win. They are always a hunchbacked servant of Dracula or a Russian bad guy in a James Bond movie, and now a Hurricane that will cause destruction. Might as well name the hurricane Lucifer or Adolf. Not too many Adolf's out there anymore.

3. Hurricane Virginie- I'm guessing most of the V names have been used but why not throw in some product placement in there and go with Hurricane Vlassic to support the jarred pickle industry? At least I would of heard of Vlassic.

There you have it. I wonder if I could get on the board of hurricane naming alliance and I wonder what their salaries are. If I ever do don't be surprised if you see Hurricane Soge shirts as we need all the google search hits we can get.

The awkward hug

Hugs can be soothing, reassuring, heartwarming, and frightening especially if you perform the dreaded awkward hug. The awkward hug is when you hesitate to hug a coworker, friend, ex, a first date etc and you have no idea what to do so you dodge to either side and give a pat on the back to the huggee. They may do the same cause its so hard to predict the hug technique of the other person. To prevent awkward hugs its best to preplan with the hugging target that its hugging time and that you are going out hugging. Get in there get your hug on, but make sure your genitals aren't touching of course so you need a little distance, and hug firmly with vigor. Its better to do a bear hug than a cold wet fish hug anyday. No one can blame you for hugging with enthusiasm. But if you do the texas two step pre hug and don't know how firm to hug its going to be more awkward than the bride catching the groom on their wedding day with all three of her bridesmaids.

Now on the flip side if someone hugs you and you just don't want to hug them back here is a tip. Use your voice and your legs! Jump back and say I'd rather not hug thanks. Cause if you hug someone that you don't want to hug its going to be a beyond awkward hug. Its better to reject someones hugs with words than by giving them the feeling that they are a hugless hobo that belongs in a pigsty. Remember awkward hugs are a problem. Its the 3182 leading cause of suicide. So if you are having problems with awkward hugs follow the advice in the blog above or call my toll free hotline 1-800-youdeservegoodhugs

Sauteed Veggie Tales!

If you know me you know I don't like religious vegetables. Especially religious cartoon vegetables. Therefore it stands that I'm not a big fan of the Veggie Tales. I don't need to see potatoes preaching that Jesus Died for our skins. Another reason I don't like Veggie Tales is that it teaches kids that vegetables provide moral support and guidance which means they have too much value to be eaten. Kids need their vitamins veggie tales. Why not use meat and call it meat tales? Oh I guess that sounds too much like a porno. Another reason that I don't like the veggie tales is that they only promote Christian vegetables. There is no Caully Llama which is of course a Buddhist cauliflower and there is no Radeesh the tolerant, non radical radish. I'm just asking for one big vegetable soup where everyone gets along.

Also in Veggie tales they never show the mistakes the vegetables made in their earlier days. For instance Larry the Cucumber was involved in Adult movies prior to his joining the cast of the Veggie tales. As Larry once put it in the mid 90's as he was snorting salt at a Denny's, he is a Cucumber and not a cuber. One last thing religious vegetables? Religious vegetables? I know kids have a low attention span but must everything be cartoonized and sold in special dvd sets for kids to absorb religious education no matter what religion they practice? Forget that! I'm off to the Souplantation to eat a salad or get my soul saved whichever the vegetables involved decide.

Guest post : Fallen Disposable Idols

John over at the great family, fitness, and finance blog ezgreatlife.com http://www.ezgreatlife.com// wanted to share his thoughts on the pathetic state of role models for young women. If you haven't checked out his blog for great financial advice and fun family events. Here are his thoughts below:

Is it just me or is anyone else bothered by the trash presented by Hollywood and others as Idols for our children. Take a look at who our young people have to look up to. What little girl wouldn't want to lead the life of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan? These media giants have carefully crafted the images of these teen idols. And then every teen in America wants to be just like them. Act like them, dress like them and grow up too fast, just like them. I am very concerned about the long term effects on our children.

I saw a little girl that must have been ten years old wearing a pair of hot pink soffe's with the word "Candy" across her backside. If you let your preteen daughter out of the house with slogans like that across the butt, you might as well call Heidi Fleiss and pimp her to the stars. I'm sure Rob or Charlie would just love to accompany her to the Playboy Mansion. And yet we sit and wonder why the teenage pregnancy rate is so high! H E L L O!

Have you visited a High School lately? It's a wonder any teenage boy is able to concentrate even a little on his academics. It's like the runway at a Victoria's Secret New Years Eve party. How can little Johnny pay attention sitting behind Susan with her thong riding high and her jeans riding low. Johny's not getting a history lesson, he's getting a lesson in female anatomy. Or maybe it is a history lesson, we'll call it the "Decline of Western Civilization". Hey, don't get me wrong, I would have loved to sit behind Susan in High School. What testosterone driven, girl crazy boy wouldn't? But as the parent of a teenage girl, I'm not so in tune with it.

I think much of this is driven by our media crazy society. Big companies like Disney take a cookie cutter approach to building up teen idols for mass consumption by our children. They nurse them along, carefully crafting their public image until they blossom into the teenage sex symbol they were meant to be! Take Miley Cyrus. Many, including me believe that the whole picture shoot malfunction episode of several weeks ago was a carefully planned transformation of Miley from cute little girl next door to the next teenage sex symbol. And like Billy Ray wasn't aware of what was going on, give me a break! He's right there calculating how many greenbacks this transformation will bring in.

One of the problems with shooting these young stars into the stratosphere, is they must eventually come down. And usually they land like a lead balloon. Think Britney Spears. No underwear wearing, climbing over car seats-back side bearing, Disney created boy toy eye candy. We have not seen a public mental breakdown like Britney's since Charles Manson's parole hearing rant "I could kill you with the edge of this book!" But fear not, she will soon be forgotten and replaced by the next big star. Tossed aside like a junkie's disposable needle. Where does that leave the millions of girls who looked up to her. Looking towards her pregnant little sister, I guess. At least she's not crazy, right?