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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Sauteed Veggie Tales!

If you know me you know I don't like religious vegetables. Especially religious cartoon vegetables. Therefore it stands that I'm not a big fan of the Veggie Tales. I don't need to see potatoes preaching that Jesus Died for our skins. Another reason I don't like Veggie Tales is that it teaches kids that vegetables provide moral support and guidance which means they have too much value to be eaten. Kids need their vitamins veggie tales. Why not use meat and call it meat tales? Oh I guess that sounds too much like a porno. Another reason that I don't like the veggie tales is that they only promote Christian vegetables. There is no Caully Llama which is of course a Buddhist cauliflower and there is no Radeesh the tolerant, non radical radish. I'm just asking for one big vegetable soup where everyone gets along.

Also in Veggie tales they never show the mistakes the vegetables made in their earlier days. For instance Larry the Cucumber was involved in Adult movies prior to his joining the cast of the Veggie tales. As Larry once put it in the mid 90's as he was snorting salt at a Denny's, he is a Cucumber and not a cuber. One last thing religious vegetables? Religious vegetables? I know kids have a low attention span but must everything be cartoonized and sold in special dvd sets for kids to absorb religious education no matter what religion they practice? Forget that! I'm off to the Souplantation to eat a salad or get my soul saved whichever the vegetables involved decide.


myktoronto said...

I don't know which is more depressing; actually creating something as abysmal as Veggie Tales or inflicting it on the young and gullible with the "blessing' and approval of evangel-struck moronic parents. Talk about subversive!

Can you imagine what these people could do with fruit! Veggies are mainly red or green...fruit on the other hand comes in a "rainbow" of colours! "Oh Lord; little Jimmy just consumed two lichee nuts and a banana and now he craves raspberry vinagrette and "toss" salad.

The whole "Christian Culture" thing makes my 'nads tremble! (or any fundamentalism for that matter). Anyways; I'm off now to do a couple of lines of salt...

Red said...

You are so bad, and I love it! LOL Thank you for saying all the things that have been bouncing around in the dark corners of my slightly bent mind. You have a good weekend you earned it!

Bridget said...

I wasn't sure about the title..but again you do not disappoint! Too funny man...too funny!!

Thanks for the comment on my M Night retort post - I like the apologist title thrown in there. I am defender not an apologist. I'll see if I can find some other defenders!!

Keep up the great posts :)

ssgreylord said...

So, I'm a vegetarian and I've never heard of vegetables being treated so poorly. We need to call the farmers. Maybe they'll stand up for them.

I hate the way they take advantage of those little veggies.

They manipulate them into sharing beliefs that they themselves may not even agree with.

Like take for instance the Tomato. I hear he's Hindu and they're thinking of "canning" (no pun intended) him from the show.

Where's the christian sprit in that?

Those producers and directors obviously haven't heard of "freedom of religion".

What a shame.

Shelley Kimberly - my avatar is my online identity - me incognito said...

That was really funny..great post!


I am so glad that my kids are over the veggie tales. I agree with your points and love how you put it. Great post as usual.

Will said...

I read this and thought it was a funny well written post about a fictional group of vegetables! Then seeing the previous comments, I wondered...........

Sure enough, a Google search found the Veggie Tale website. That is just too weird.

Thanks for the great post, I think. Maybe I would have been better off not knowing about Madame Blueberry, Queen Esther, and their cucumbers!


wornoutwoman said...

I don't like Vegetales but not for the reasons you're stating. I have no beef with yours (no pun intended), but we've got so much out there that do promote other religions that I think it's great someone's willing to promote the unpopular religion, one I'm a member of.
Although I think they miss the mark with Vegetales, as it grates on my nerves, the message can't be denied as a good one.

Kelly said...

What a hilarious post..I too loathe veggie tales..
Now Viva Pinata..thats funny..have you seen that video game..? I think there is a cartoon for it too.
btw found you through B(random acts of motherhood)..diggin' your blog! said...

My face is all red from LMAO, that was hilarious! My little sister was fascinated with the Veggie Tales - in High School!

I always thought it was lame and weird. Loved it!

B said...

I'm in the minority (as usual...I like veggie tales -- BUT your post cracks me up nonetheless! HAHA I totally think they should broaden their religious horizons and show off some others on the show.

David Tamayo said...

I found you post very amusing. I agree that there are certain things that should be left alone. I want to be able to eat my parsnips guilt free. Sometimes things are used in unusual ways to deliver unrelated messages. I remember once I went to be a referee at a friends martial arts tournament. There was a team there that had a big cross silk screened on the back of their uniforms along with the words "Kicks for Christ" I just found it unusual to see these same guys trying to knock people out not minutes later. Great post. Take care my friend.

rjlight said...

all I can say is that I am really hungy for a veggie paella right now, and I am also in the minority cuz I do get a laugh from those funny guys...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...

Larry the Cucumber said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bridget said...

I think you are just horrible. Nobody is forcing you to like veggietales. So why not quit picking on the people who do like it. I love veggietales just as much as my children. I am a Christian mother and I think the shows provide great moral lessons for anyone, not just christians. But yes the show is based on Christianity because Christ is the only way anyone is going to get to heaven. Yes, I am closed minded and proud of it.