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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Choose your own adventure haikus

Remember choose your own adventure books. Basically they were from the 80's and were awfully stupid books in which you had two options of events and you would pick one. For example go into the sparkling meadow or into the cavernous bat cave. Choose right and you would get to make another mind boggling decision. Choose wrong and your sexually assaulted by a meadow elf. Today in the blog we are going to play choose your own adventure haiku style. You make the decisions and depending on what you choose you get a corresponding haiku that will tell you your destiny. Don't cheat and see what the other haiku would have brought till your done with the whole blog.

Its memorial day and although you are pretty excited that you have the day off the weather is cooperating as much as a mental patient drinking red bulls free of his straightjacket. You think to yourself that seeing a movie or staying in reading a
nice book and drinking some hot cocoa might be nice. Choose your adventure book or movie. Book Haiku is 1A and then the movie haiku is 1B.

1A: Book haiku

Good books are nowhere

Barbara Walters book out

Too much sex details

1B: Movie Haiku

Indiana Jones

Is sold out Speed Racer Sucks

Waste of time and cash

Memorial day comes and goes and some new decisions are to be made at work. Your job is easy but your boss is a disrespectful douche that has more anger problems than Mel Gibson. Do you a.) take a slightly more challenging job with a slight decrease in salary? or b) Stay the course and keep receiving verbal beatings like you are wearing the scarlett letter? Take a new job is 2A and the same job is 2B

2A: New Job Haiku

Freedom and relief

Promotion achieved quickly

Things are looking up

2B: Same job haiku

Tired of this crap

Jump kick Satan out window

New orange jumpsuit

You get your stimulus check and you have a couple options on how you want to spend it. Should you put it away your kids college fund or buy a new plasma hdtv. College fund haiku is 3A and hdtv is 3B.

3A: College haiku

Money for drugs yay

Major in basket weaving

Darn that worthless kid


Hours of quality

Your kid will be happier

High def is worth it


Red said...

LOL, well done..I for one made all the right choices, so what does that say about me?
Well done as always, a pleasure to get a laught and a smile at the end of a long work day.

David Tamayo said...

Cherry blossom blooms

Read hilarious post

Laughed my a** off.

I better leave haiku to the professionals. =)

Bubbles said...

Thanks, that was really entertaining. I made some good choices and some not so good choices. So I ended up with "Drug Money" (HAHA)

Bridget said...

So how did I miss this meadow elf sexual assualt epidemic...I need to pay more attention man. Oh ok I will give this 5 out of 5 smart gals are you happy now? Good Stuff :D

ssgreylord said...

How do you do it? Where on earth could you come up with an adventure haiku (My 7th grade English teacher would be ashamed of me cuz I can't even remember how to write one).

But you, you did it again. I was laughing til my cheeks hurt. I love it!!

the story of jessica said...

Wow choose your own adventure and a haiku, wonderful. Laughed my a** off! Thank you for making my day funnier!


I am never dissapointed! I got kind of crazy here and had a great time. Always make me smile!

myktoronto said...

This is so original! It kicks big big butt! The more I pictured them the more I found funny and disturbing!

I look really hawt in an orange jumpsuit least that's what a cell-mate once told me.

Huckdoll said...

3.A was about me, wasn't it? How'd you know??

Sue said...

I know I'm missing the point of this but I picked the movie one. And I did really go see Indian Jones on Sunday and it wasn't sold out. Oh well I guess I couldn't ever read those books, I guess I don't have the imagination. Good post, Tim :)

Chelle said...

I didn't know you could write haikus :) Very nice! I might have to enlist you to write a few for IMBL :)

Also, I think I'm going crazy - I still don't see the entrecard widget?

Sandy C. said...

Oh man! 2B was me 2 weeks ago.

I heard neither Indiana Jones wasn't all that great either :(

Eve Grey said...

How about?

Haiku, time to go
You are so so annoying
Grade 5 is over.