Choose your own adventure haikus

Remember choose your own adventure books. Basically they were from the 80's and were awfully stupid books in which you had two options of events and you would pick one. For example go into the sparkling meadow or into the cavernous bat cave. Choose right and you would get to make another mind boggling decision. Choose wrong and your sexually assaulted by a meadow elf. Today in the sogeshirts.com blog we are going to play choose your own adventure haiku style. You make the decisions and depending on what you choose you get a corresponding haiku that will tell you your destiny. Don't cheat and see what the other haiku would have brought till your done with the whole blog.

Its memorial day and although you are pretty excited that you have the day off the weather is cooperating as much as a mental patient drinking red bulls free of his straightjacket. You think to yourself that seeing a movie or staying in reading a
nice book and drinking some hot cocoa might be nice. Choose your adventure book or movie. Book Haiku is 1A and then the movie haiku is 1B.

1A: Book haiku

Good books are nowhere

Barbara Walters book out

Too much sex details


1B: Movie Haiku

Indiana Jones

Is sold out Speed Racer Sucks

Waste of time and cash

Memorial day comes and goes and some new decisions are to be made at work. Your job is easy but your boss is a disrespectful douche that has more anger problems than Mel Gibson. Do you a.) take a slightly more challenging job with a slight decrease in salary? or b) Stay the course and keep receiving verbal beatings like you are wearing the scarlett letter? Take a new job is 2A and the same job is 2B



2A: New Job Haiku

Freedom and relief

Promotion achieved quickly

Things are looking up



2B: Same job haiku

Tired of this crap

Jump kick Satan out window

New orange jumpsuit

You get your stimulus check and you have a couple options on how you want to spend it. Should you put it away your kids college fund or buy a new plasma hdtv. College fund haiku is 3A and hdtv is 3B.



3A: College haiku

Money for drugs yay

Major in basket weaving

Darn that worthless kid




3B: HDTV

Hours of quality

Your kid will be happier

High def is worth it

March Madness = March badness

The only thing I can ever predict about the NCAA tourney is that it will cause me to not get any work done. USD and Western Kentucky pull dramatic thrilling upsets which leave me hyper, pumped, and wanting to bask in the thrill of victory rather than the thrill of site submitting. I'm like a puppy with ADD at a chew toy factory. The concentration and motivation to work just isn't going to be there.

Predicting who is going to win is like guessing the exact number of jellybeans in a package of jellybeans bought at Costco while blindfolded. Its just not going to happen. I watch a lot of college basketball and tend to get smug in making my picks. In fact two family members and a friend of mine asked me to fill out my picks. Not even half a day into the first day and my picks are all categorically wrong. Georgia my upset pick blows a ten point lead against three seed Xavier. Certainly 11 seed baylor will take out overrated purdue. Nope wrong Purdue by twenty. Surely USC and UConn will make the sweet 16 nope one and done. Thats why you don't let me do your picks family and friends. The tournament can make you feel like the elementary school kid that has to do a book report presentation and hasn't even heard of the book let alone read it.

College is for parties

Always go to a party school if you are in college. Take the six year plan and don't make the same mistake I did. I decided to go to UCSD whose only parties were lan parties. Students there were either at the the library or the laboratory or as i call them the liboring and the laboringtory. Left to fend for myself in a non social wasteland I decided to form a gang. The gang consisted of a nerdy asian guy named MSG-dawg, an unsmooth Indian guy named Touchable because he liked to yell out to the female engineering students that he was so Touchable, and me. Those guys gave me the nickname the sadistic statistic cause I was one bad ass math major dork.

Our gang roamed the mean streets of La Jolla where we helped old ladies cross the street and prevented many a frappachino jacking as that is about as criminal as UCSD gets. MSG-Dawg, Touchable, and I decided to go to a frat party where MSG dawg couldn't withstand his excitement. He was like dude that girl is topless and I was like huh MSG-dawg you are crazy and he was like "yeah man she's laptopless. I've never seen a girl here that isn't studying or on her laptop" After that I realized man I'm not in the upper echelon of smart kids here at UCSD why am I even here. I should have studied etch a sketch, keg stands, and beer pong at SDSU. Instead of finishing in 4 long boring years I could have finished in 6 fun years making memories that I won't remember due to the alcohol.
So remember kids stay in school... as long as you can!