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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

M. Night Shyamalan effect

The M. Night Shyamalan effect is something that I hope you will avoid whether it be in a relationship, job, new apartment etc. If you are unfamiliar with M Night Shyamlan he is the director of the Sixth Sense which was a classic unless some asshole ruined the ending for you, which many did. His next movie Unbreakable was good, Signs was ok, The Village was garbage, and Lady in the Water was one of the worst movies ever. So basically he started strong and subsequently got worse kinda like the TV show Lost.(Yes my Lost bashing continues)

Here is an example of the M. Night Shyamlan effect in a relationship. Say you are a lady and are dating a guy for three months and he appears perfect for you. He's smart, romantic but not a wuss, has a stable job, makes you laugh etc. Things are going great and then suddenly his grandmother passes away. He becomes a little bit down but nothing you can't handle. Then he starts leaving the toilet seat up, which is a minor annoyance but you can deal with it. Then he begins to leave you three or four voice mails a day, which is now starting to piss you off but you look past it cause you still love his good qualities. Then he reveals he is Hitler's grandson and wants to restore "Germany's glory". Uh oh this is starting to look bad. You try to dump him but he blackmails you with some bit of information that you don't want your family or co workers to know about. Then he reveals to you that he is the national president of the painful bondage club. You tell him you don't care about your blackmail secret and tell him to get the hell out of your house and you get a restraining order. He still doesn't leave and tries to squat in your basement till he is killed by the swat team.

To stop the M. Night Shyamalan effect you have to recognize it early and stop it then. If everything is going downhill like a drunken bobsled team down a mountain you have to remove that person or event out of your life immediately. By the way M. Night Shyamlan has a new movie coming out called The Happening. I'm not going to say to not see it but don't be surprised if Mark Wahlberg never has a movie career again. The boogieman isn't real but the M. Night Shyamalan effect is so check your children's beds and closets for it. Shyamy shammy sham may not catch on like boogedy boogedy boo but the consequences are twice as dear.


ssgreylord said...

I think I dated this guy... creepy.


I think I dated several of these guys. How can I always get it so wrong. Funny comparison-scary too.

Pand0ra Wilde said...

I most definitely did date that guy--wound up with a police team searching my basement to make sure nothing had been buried down there.

Seriously creepy dude.

myktoronto said...

Dang!I bet he's a Republican too!

That also sounds kinda'like the guy in Pacific Heights. Maybe I could fix him up with my ex. They would compliment each other quite nicely.

It's so great Tim, to know that you're just as whacked as I am...sick bloggin' indeed!

OIMS said...

" If you are unfamiliar with M Night Shyamlan he is the director of the Sixth Sense which was a classic unless some asshole ruined the ending for you, which many did. "

You crack me up! Made me think of the time our neighbor kid told me "Goose dies" in the movie Top Gun, which I had not yet seen.

Still laughing over here, thanks!

Real World Mom said...

Now I'm scared! I see nightmares in my near future!

Killlashandra said...

Funny observation about the "effect". Although I have to admit I liked Lady in the Water, I thought Unbreakable an awesome idea that could have been better, and The Village wasn't too bad, just a little fishy at the end.

Your story is funny but I think his movies are still entertaining. Come one it's Hollywood, all you can ask for is entertaining nowadays. ;)

Meg said...

I thin I married on of these guys! And My Mark Walburg can do nothing but help M. Night S!!!

Chelle said...

Yay! I can comment on this one :)

I kind of liked his movies, lol. But there is a point when enough is enough already!

Bridget said...

Too funny!! I don't know how you come up with this stuff but it is great!

M. Night Shyamalan said...

How dare you criticize my work!

So what if bad acting and scripts started creeping in to my movies, my plots get more and more implausible, the twists become dumber and dumber.

I'm getting back to my roots, and there's nothing anyone or anything can do to stop me.

How's this: If any of you are surprised that I'm capable of making something this bad, I'll take $10 every time I can kick you in the nads. It's pretty much the same thing, and will take up far less of your time! Yeeeeeearrrrgh!