M. Night Shyamalan effect

The M. Night Shyamalan effect is something that I hope you will avoid whether it be in a relationship, job, new apartment etc. If you are unfamiliar with M Night Shyamlan he is the director of the Sixth Sense which was a classic unless some asshole ruined the ending for you, which many did. His next movie Unbreakable was good, Signs was ok, The Village was garbage, and Lady in the Water was one of the worst movies ever. So basically he started strong and subsequently got worse kinda like the TV show Lost.(Yes my Lost bashing continues)

Here is an example of the M. Night Shyamlan effect in a relationship. Say you are a lady and are dating a guy for three months and he appears perfect for you. He's smart, romantic but not a wuss, has a stable job, makes you laugh etc. Things are going great and then suddenly his grandmother passes away. He becomes a little bit down but nothing you can't handle. Then he starts leaving the toilet seat up, which is a minor annoyance but you can deal with it. Then he begins to leave you three or four voice mails a day, which is now starting to piss you off but you look past it cause you still love his good qualities. Then he reveals he is Hitler's grandson and wants to restore "Germany's glory". Uh oh this is starting to look bad. You try to dump him but he blackmails you with some bit of information that you don't want your family or co workers to know about. Then he reveals to you that he is the national president of the painful bondage club. You tell him you don't care about your blackmail secret and tell him to get the hell out of your house and you get a restraining order. He still doesn't leave and tries to squat in your basement till he is killed by the swat team.

To stop the M. Night Shyamalan effect you have to recognize it early and stop it then. If everything is going downhill like a drunken bobsled team down a mountain you have to remove that person or event out of your life immediately. By the way M. Night Shyamlan has a new movie coming out called The Happening. I'm not going to say to not see it but don't be surprised if Mark Wahlberg never has a movie career again. The boogieman isn't real but the M. Night Shyamalan effect is so check your children's beds and closets for it. Shyamy shammy sham may not catch on like boogedy boogedy boo but the consequences are twice as dear.

Christopher Columbus drops off the world

I am now 27 years old. 15 years ago Christopher Columbus was a god revered by American history books as the man that discovered the Americas. A true adventurer and a man that changed history, for where would be without good old Chris Columbus? Now fast forward 15 years later and no one gets a day off for Columbus day because Columbus didn't truly discover America, and to some the only thing he discovered was western diseases and rape. Yes thats right, Columbus now in the eyes of many is a murdering, disease carrying, torturing, rapist. Thats like combining Hitler, Charles Manson, and a pigeon's bad qualities and throwing them together in a stew of evil.

I have no idea what Columbus was really like, so please if there are any Columbus fans I'm just repeating what I've heard. Don't steer your Nina, Pintas, and Santa Marias at me just because I'm much too lazy to research. Things can always go back to the way they were. In twenty years from now Columbus may get the discovery of America attributed back to him and with an added bonus also the credit for inventing the Playstation. History is crazy like that. Why do we keep putting stuff in History books when there are differing accounts as to what happened? These are history books and not debate books. They should set up history booths with scholars at the fair right next to the fortune tellers just to see who is more accurate. To sum it up give Columbus may have been a jerk, but give him back his hero status cause we could all use another day off.