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Friday, May 2, 2008

David Blaine: Brainless Houdini

David Blaine was on Oprah the other day and set a record for holding his breath underwater for over 17 minutes breaking the previous mark of 16 minutes and 32 seconds by fellow moron Peter Colat. Blaine's heartbeat dropped to 40 beats a minute as he struggled in the tank during the sixteenth minute and started to develop heartbeat irregularities to go along with his monotone voice irregularity.

Apparently holding his head underwater and getting zero dollars for it for an ungodly amount of time is not dangerous enough for the magic man as he told Oprah that he wants to break the record for most days without sleep. That record is 11 days or a million seconds. To break this record I think David should have to take care of ten babies of couples since that way you make sure he doesn't sleep and actually provides value to the world. He shouldn't be allowed to use red bulls or magic to stay up instead having to rely on sheer will power/stupidity to make it all the way.

I wonder what other feats he will perform if he survives this one. An incredible feat would be if he could knock Oprah off the cover of her magazine before she is a 75 year old cover model. Or he could be a human time capsule and lock himself under ground for 100 years. No I doubt he would do that because that is the one feat he won't do... disappear.

15 comments:

Kimba The White Lioness said...

Wait a minute - you've lost me. HOW could he have breathed underwater for that length of time without oxygen?

Red said...

LOL I take it you are not a Blaine fan? I think the best part of the show was when Oprah ask Blaine if he ever worried about insanity brought on by some of his stunts and he answered he might already be insane. I must agree with his observation..lol
Thanks for stopping by and the comment you made me laugh...again!

Sogeshirtsguy said...

Hi red. Blaine is alright and some of the stuff he does is cool but he is one insane guy. I can't hold my breath for a minute let alone 17. I can't stay up for two days in a row let alone 11. Also for those wondering about kimbas comment i wrote my blog wrong originally and she helped correct me.

Bridget said...

I think that Blaine guy sounds pretty crazy but even crazier may be that you watch Oprah...wouldn't take you for an Oprah fan. :) That glutton for punishment thing was never something I could understand. I love sleep too much, I wouldn't try staying up past my bed time let alone for days.

Sogeshirtsguy said...

Hi Bridget your right I don't watch Oprah lol. I heard about David Blaine's feat on the radio and then looked up news articles to get the facts.

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

I don't get why anyone would care to do those things. Good point about taking care of the babies.

Ann said...

(LOL) This is hilarious. As you know, I just asked my readers how long they've gone without sleep, and what happened as a result.

Although now, thanks to David, we're really going to find out- that is, if "Houdini" lives through it~

He can probably see his headlines which will read, "Brainless" and sleepless magic man David Blaine, will become "a human time capsule and lock himself underground for a hundred years."

And you're right, he won't disappear, although none of us will be around in a hundred years to watch him complete another mission impossible- nor will we witness Oprah launched from the front page of her magazine. (laughing)

I noticed Oprah's magazine on a friends coffee table the other day- I thought it was the same one I saw the month before- so you're right- she is the monthly model. (laughing)

Really funny post and I'm glad you stopped by A Nice Place In The Sun.

Because I have a new pop stand to visit~ Have a great week-end~

Ann

ssgreylord said...

So hilarious, you are! Thanks for the entertainment and your witty comments. Loved your comment on my blog. Made me smile. Can't wait to spend more time on your blogs. By the way, your "...Mommy Put Out" t-shirt is a riot-would love to get one if available... take care.

myktoronto said...

I guess that's the epitome of what television really is; a platform to show off the most inane and embarrassing traits of the human condition and call it entertainment. "Wow! Quick; tune on Oprah she's gonna' have some loser on that might suffocate on live tv... and tomorrow's guest is going to sit on a toilet filled with Piranha fish. Dang Ma; it's a stellar week!".

What gets me are the guys like (the late) Steve Fossett that spend millions to do things that no one gives a rat's ass about; like flying around the world in a balloon. I wonder if he saw any of the throngs of people starving, around the globe, during his trips.

Good topic as always Tim!

BillyWarhol said...

LOLLLLL How is Ol' Shrivelled Penis Blaine doing after that one!!

I like his Card Tricks on the Street Best!!

;))

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HMBT said...

What A marrrooon. He just gets on my nerves that guy. Great post, well the last three that I just read were really great anyway. You make me laugh! :)

Tara R. said...

Blaine is a seriously crazy person. Not so much the breath holding, being buried alive, or encased in ice, but to go on Oprah. =)

Cactus Ryan said...

Haha you just admitted that you watch Oprah! Jumping on couches Tom Cruize is proud of you. Funny shit SOGE. His next feet is the most days with a raging boner, for him to break this record he needs to stay away from the cover of every O magazine on the planet. Not easy to do, she's like magazine star bucks.

Momo Fali said...

I wish he'd try that trick where he cuts his own head off.

Chus said...

This is what I think: David Blaine's Dive of Death