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Friday, September 12, 2008

Hurricane names

Have you ever wondered who picks the hurricane names and why they picked that name? Probably not but I'm just weirder than you so I did some research. They pick hurricane names years in advance, and let me tell you there are some pretty crappy hurricane names. Hurricanes should have dickhead names like Ike ala Ike turner who was a dickhead. The name fits as the hurricane causes destruction and does whatever the heck it wants. Here are some awful upcoming hurricane names in the next few years.

2008 Hurricanes

1. Hurricane Nana- If the hurricane season makes it to the N"s which is very likely then here comes hurricane Nana. This hurricane is going to cause young children to be terrified of their grandmothers for life. No more apples pies and a warm smile. Now Nana is capable of blasting you with a fire hose. Truly a terrible hurricane name.

2. Hurricane Rene- Hurricane Rene just doesn't strike much fear into me. It's a french name so I'm going to assume the hurricane is going to surrender. I might become one of the idiots that tries to stay in my house until water comes past my head and I drown.

3. Tie for the last worst hurricane name of 2008 Hurricane Teddy/ Hurricane Wilfred- Teddy Ruxpin and teddy bear sales are about to plummet. Hurricane Wilfred is an odd choice for a hurricane name, but it makes those few unfortunate souls named Wilfred 300 percent tougher.

Hurricane names 2009

The 2009 batch didn't really have any names that I could make stupid puns about so I'll pass.

Hurricane names 2010-

1. Hurricane Hermine- Don't worry Harry Potter fans. Its Hermione not Hermine. Still this is a name that I didn't even know existed. Are their that many hurricanes out there that we have to resort to weird names? You aren't going to see Hermine at the gift shop for one of those novelty name plates.

2. Hurricane Igor- Igor's never win. They are always a hunchbacked servant of Dracula or a Russian bad guy in a James Bond movie, and now a Hurricane that will cause destruction. Might as well name the hurricane Lucifer or Adolf. Not too many Adolf's out there anymore.

3. Hurricane Virginie- I'm guessing most of the V names have been used but why not throw in some product placement in there and go with Hurricane Vlassic to support the jarred pickle industry? At least I would of heard of Vlassic.

There you have it. I wonder if I could get on the board of hurricane naming alliance and I wonder what their salaries are. If I ever do don't be surprised if you see Hurricane Soge shirts as we need all the google search hits we can get.


john b said...

They should use Hurricane Biff. The name Biff has had a bad connotation ever since he beat up George McFly in Back to the Future.

Regretful Morning said...

I'd like to see a "hurricane gold digger".

~Static~ said...

Hurricane Static - your clothes will be so dry in this electrical hurricane storm that they will cling to your every crevice. But don't walk too fast as the static electricity will build to EPIC proportions and turn you into a walking electron bomb. One wrong move and KABOOM!


I am still laughing and laughing. This had it! I would hate to see a hurricane nana and Teddy! Loved, loved, loved this. I don't know how you do it! I wish I had even a tad of your sense of humor!

ssgreylord said...

poor wilfred. who names their child wilfred anymore, anyway? as if the name doesn't have a bad enough rep on its own, let alone with a hurricane. then again, i do agree with the toughness point...

Anonymous said...

Omg this is so funnay! i was rotfl!! Great great! Nana and TEddy were my favorites!!! :)

Don said...

Hurricane Malcolm. Who the hell would evacuate? We'd be too busy laughing!

Anonymous said...

My 14 year old adolescent daughter's name is Hannah ... And yes, very often there is a significant resemblance between her facial expression and a very, very dark storm-cloud! Anyway, she was quite excited about the idea of having a hurricane named to her ... LOL

GetSmartGal said...

You know the problem is the people naming these things, what do nerds know about powerhouse names we need to go where the names are. I suggest we go to the wrestling world for some help..The Rock, Thrasher, Undertaker, The Show, Triple H. Great post Tim! :)

Kimmylyn said...

Your hurricane Nana had me laughing on the floor.. classic.. You are hysterical..

CailinMarie said...

I'm loving "Rene- it is a French name so I assume it will surrender"

Eve Grey said...

Ha! My sister and i were just talking about this the other day...