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Saturday, June 7, 2008

The awkward hug

Hugs can be soothing, reassuring, heartwarming, and frightening especially if you perform the dreaded awkward hug. The awkward hug is when you hesitate to hug a coworker, friend, ex, a first date etc and you have no idea what to do so you dodge to either side and give a pat on the back to the huggee. They may do the same cause its so hard to predict the hug technique of the other person. To prevent awkward hugs its best to preplan with the hugging target that its hugging time and that you are going out hugging. Get in there get your hug on, but make sure your genitals aren't touching of course so you need a little distance, and hug firmly with vigor. Its better to do a bear hug than a cold wet fish hug anyday. No one can blame you for hugging with enthusiasm. But if you do the texas two step pre hug and don't know how firm to hug its going to be more awkward than the bride catching the groom on their wedding day with all three of her bridesmaids.

Now on the flip side if someone hugs you and you just don't want to hug them back here is a tip. Use your voice and your legs! Jump back and say I'd rather not hug thanks. Cause if you hug someone that you don't want to hug its going to be a beyond awkward hug. Its better to reject someones hugs with words than by giving them the feeling that they are a hugless hobo that belongs in a pigsty. Remember awkward hugs are a problem. Its the 3182 leading cause of suicide. So if you are having problems with awkward hugs follow the advice in the blog above or call my toll free hotline 1-800-youdeservegoodhugs

16 comments:

J. C. said...

Lol, be careful somebody might actually try that tool free. There is a lot of desperate people around. I was thinking about registering a firm for that purpose and making myself rich.

ssgreylord said...

OMG, right up there with one of your best. I can so relate to the awkward hug. It's almost unavoidable.

I'm too lame to say, "Don't hug me." I hug everyone, even when it's awkward. What does that say about me?

As far as the genitalia go--does that include boobs? 'Cuz that's kinda tough to avoid for chicks!

Sogeshirtsguy said...

lol sarah naw boobs are all right im talking about the lower genitals.

MoonDog said...

I'm the guy you spoke of that often encounters people jumping backwards to avoid hugging me - even my mother avoids me.

How sad is that?

I sometimes hug myself for the lack of hugs I receive. That's even more sad, isn't it?

I am the great and powerful MoonDog, and I approved this comment.

Sogeshirtsguy said...

Hey moondog. Don't worry man the awkward hug has happened to everyone including me. If people are jumping back maybe thats a problem that they got with themselves or maybe you aren't confident enough. Sometimes society as a hole can be aholes so you just got to rise above it.

Huckdoll said...

I'm a vigorous bear hugger for sure - you're right, it's the only way.

What can get awkward is arm placement. I'm a throw-arms-around-your-neck type hugger, but occasionally I run into people who do the same and it throws me right off.

Or really tall people - I'm 5'2", so that can get awkward, too.

LceeL said...

But the BEST hugs are the ones where the genitalia ARE touching.

~Static~ said...

Does someone need a hug?

Christy said...

You're a riot! I hate it when people are so uncomfortable they don't even get HOW to give a hug (I guess if I was a nicer person, I'd feel sorry for them rather than annoyed.)

Bridget said...

Aaw Static aren't you sweet!:)

I'm a hugger but only with people I'm comfortable with. Those peeps I'm not don't need me to say it I have the frigid Bridget stare it works like a charm!

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

I can't stop laughing and smiling! This has happened to everyone and it is just awful. I never know what to do so I just hug even when I don't want to. I usually feel like an idiot but hug away. The worst is when you go to shake hands and they hug you. Then you feel like such an ass.

Mama's Losin' It said...

Hi, I just linked over from Christy's page and this post is hilarious. I believe it was written for me. I'm not a big hugger, but I married a Hawaiian and Hawaiians hug. I had to learn. The awkward way. I wish you had written this 7 years ago, it would have really helped me out. You're so right just going in for the kill with a great big bear hug is soooo much better than the insecure dance. Very funny!

David Tamayo said...

I was so intrigued by this post that I went to my trusty reference book to see if there was any resource material on the "awkward hug", first it pointed out that you would be hard pressed to find another word with two "w's". The next thing I saw was a picture with the caption, "see - Howie Mandel" =)

Love Bites said...

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SherE1 said...

What about the awkward hug and cheek kiss that sometimes, accidentally lands on the LIPS because you both turned your heads in the same direction. Not that that has happened to me or anything. In front of my husband. Nope, never happened to me!

I'm only 5' tall so hugging is particularly awkward when the other person is TALL.

Kris said...

Awkward hugs are the 3182 leading cause of suicide?

Snort!

I am all helpless giggles.

That's fabulous!