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Sunday, June 22, 2008

Stupid keywords

Here are some great stupid keywords phrases that will be sure to get you to the top page of google.

Abominable Snow Dildo- The Abominable snow man has been locked away in the matterhorn for years and so the abominable snow lady gets pretty lonely. She still has retained her natural urges thus the abominable snow dildo.

Headbanging jazzercise- You haven’t heard of the new headbanging jazzercise classes? Well me neither but jazzercise has to evolve and be relevant again. Headbanging is just the twist it needs.

Vegan animal haters- We all know that vegans hate meat but there are some that take it a step further and blame the animals themselves. "Stop dying and making meat," they yell at the animals.

cow tipping businessman- Only backwater people cow tip so I doubt this term has been taking. Write an article about leaving your corporate office and go cow tipping in your suit and tie. Hmm Dwight Schrute from the office might do this so act fast.

alcoholic monks- There is belgian beer blessed by monks so this is the next step. Its gonna happen, a monk is going to hit the bottle a lot. You’ll be there when it does as an alcoholic monk expert. This monk will chug twelve packs and listen to nirvana instead of achieving nirvana.

moral congressman- I haven't seen one so wake me up when this happens. Actually you probably won't get ranked high with this one cause every congressman lies and says that they are moral.

Amish phone operator- Like I said in my blog description above they can't use the internet or electricity in general. This one should be easy.


Chelle said...

Those are some good ones! I'm sure that will help you get some PR :)

Regretful Morning said...

I use Amish Phone Operator in my tags all the time. Guess you missed that horse n' buggy action I blogged about.

PS - Do you know when the next PR cycle is?

Christy said...

Oh my god! I have tears streaming down my crack me up! I didn't understand the purpose of tagging my blog posts, so I've never done it...I still don't quite completely get it, but it's a little clearer now...twistedly so.


I really need to figure out this keyword thing. I love the moral congressman!!!! As usual, you amaze me with your funny mind!

MoonDog said...

Anything involving the destruction of baby seals or anal sex are always good for increased page rank.

David Tamayo said...

How about an "Amish alcoholic monk phone operator". Can you picture the 911 call? =0)

myktoronto said...

Yikes! Vegan animal haters! That's so freakin' funny. One of your best topics yet Tim...cheerz!

Momo Fali said...

Dude, you have problems. That's why I like you so much.

Bridget said...

Great stuff there Tim! BTW I am once removed from the backwater hick gene and yet I have still been cow tipping-not in a suit though or even in heels (there's a thought) I hide the redneck with makeup! :)

Sandy C. said...

Those are hilarious! LOVE your dildo explanation....makes total sense ;)

AmyV said...

love vegan animal haters!

Eve Grey said...

I like the vegan animal haters. Maybe people wouldn't want to eat you if you weren't so tasty...Like, Hello?!

nepspeed82 said...

I wonder how this abominable snow dildo looks like? :)

mary said...

So crazy but i like it.

You sure have fun don't cha.

Nice postings.