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Monday, June 9, 2008

National Spelling bees

Once again the national spelling bee occurred and once again a kid from India won it. I'm calling for all kids from India to be banned from all spelling bees in the future because of some of the huge advantages being from India provides. First is the obvious one Indian parents value education above all and force their kids to study for hours at a time. In America about only 70 percent of parents their force their kids to read books and study. The others plop them in front of the TV to watch High school musical or leave the kids on the internet unsupervised. For some reason that browser never ends up on a site about algebra or thermal dynamics. Another reason Indians always win spelling bees is they get to practice spelling their ridiculously long names. Spelling Napashtan Aronkathapan is going to give you a bit of the edge especially considering that as children they are probably expected to spell consonant packed names of their fellow class mates. Poor American kids get to practice spelling names like Tim, Jim, Ty, Bob, Rick, Dan, Ann, Sue. Thats just not going to get it done we got to start coming up with longer names so American children can win spelling bees. Like Timjimbobbyanadan as a first name. Its all about quality spelling quality spelling.

The third reason is the psychological edge that the Indian children have. They can engage in pre-spelling verbal warfare against American kids such as the following. "You better not choke on this word or in ten years I'm going to replace you and your dad at your telemarketing job" That is just too much for a 12 year old to worry about because he fears that the Indian kid could already replace his dad at his telemarketing job and thus he chokes more than an amateur hot dog eating contestant. Please Spelling bee organizers ban the Indian kids for at least one year so the American kids can finish third to another kid from a long name spelling Country.

16 comments:

Bridget said...

I am not sure if the logic plays out here. You know in the south they have two to three names being used at all times, like Bobby Joe Fenton, or Kathy Sue Woodhousin. On top of that they put their names on their belt buckles and yet they still have some issues spelling...

Just something to consider in your Jack Handey moments. Funny stuff Tim :)

MoonDog said...

It's because of outsourcing American jobs, and owning hotels and convenience stores in the U.S. that Indian children have the financial resources to support their spelling habit.

Nice scribble.

LceeL said...

What follows is not a criticism or complaint.

For the last two years my son has studied at IMSA (Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy), one of the 10 best public high schools in the USA. You must test and interview to get in. You must take college SAT's after your freshman year at your home school to get in. Yu have to be smart to get in. If you include all 'minorities', 80% of the school enrollment is non-Caucasian. I would have thought that the enrollment would have been more reflective of the actual demographics of the State. But the 'minorities' are far more driven to succeed, apparently, than I had expected. And good for them. Really. Good for them.

We 'white folks' have had it good in this country for a long time. Too good. But the day is coming when the positions are going to reverse. And being 'white' is NOT going to mean you have a right to the top. Not that we ever really did have that right. It was something we took, and assumed was ours. I wonder what it's going to be like when 'white folks' have to deal with discrimination and prejudice based on the color (or lack thereof) of one's skin. I wonder.

Your post was witty. This comment isn't. Sorry.

neutron said...

whoa lceel, pretty intense. Wasn't really expecting that, but times are definitely a changin. Just take a look at all the emerging economies in the east.

Red said...

Tim your wit is a refreshing treat every time I read here. I have to agree with Iceel, in that I wonder what we white skinned Americans are going in the years ahead when we are no longer top dog.

Huckdoll said...

Well, I lost the spelling bee to the Indian kid, the Asian kid, the white kid and the Polish immigrant kid...

Thank God for spell check.

Thanks for the laughs, Timjimbobbyanadan!

Sogeshirtsguy said...

Bridget those names are short two to three names so they don't count. My logic always plays out ... unless it doesn't.

Lol at support their spelling habit moondog.

Lceel pretty impressive social commentary I agree that white shouldn't have anything handed to them. Whoever rises up whatever color is usually working the hardest.

red- I think its about individuals anyway. How your parents raised you , where your born, and your work ethic really controls who is successful and who isn't. Also being born into money helps a lot.

huckdoll- lmao at your comment. I stunk at spelling bees too.

john b said...

I think that the reason immigrants do so well in this country is because they are driven. They are here for a purpose, to create a better life for themselves and their family. Americans as a whole appear to be lazy and over confident that what has always been, will always be...just because. Like Iceel, I wonder what this country will be like when the roles reverse.

Eve Grey said...

You follow spelling bees? :)
I kick ass at spelling (that's spelling, not typing). Such a usful "skill".

ssgreylord said...

I neever had enny truwble with spelling and I thunk I represennt 3/4 of the Amercain poopulation out therre. So I dont unnderstood ure post... I dont thunk its funnnie.

David Tamayo said...

Averybody is so clare cut hare. Me mum is flipino ane me pap is gud ol albama stok. As fer as whit folk bein on top, I livd in Hawia, Hawwia, Hawiwa...on an iland, fer 15 yars. If ya eva bin der, nuff sayed. (Are you in pain yet?) =) Kids in Hawaii should be national spelling bee winners. The state fish is called a Humuhumunukunukuapuaa. (I probably spelled that wrong.) =p

Sogeshirtsguy said...

john b- I agree with you some americans now are lazy.

eve- haha yeah i saw it on the news and remembered the indian kid winning last year.

David- Funny stuff you are right Hawaiians should win.

Sarah- I thgought itt wus fuhnny

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

It seems that each time I read your posts I laugh, smile and laugh some more and think-oh this is the best one yet! You always seem to top it and I am again thinking this is the best one yet. Thanks for cheering me up!!! BTW I lost the spelling bee in 3rd grade for spelling breakfast wrong. I am still pissed.

Sogeshirtsguy said...

Thanks heidi. Glad I could make you smile. I remember in school how to spell breakfast cause you got to break the fast. I lost every spelling bee I was in too.

mistercrowley said...

Dude...this is funny shit. But you know what? We (in India) crack the same jokes about Indians winning spelling bees. On a more serious note, you'll notice that Indian kids who win spelling bees aren't educated in India. Hell, most of them weren't even BORN here. The fact remains that primary-level education in the US is eons ahead of the standard in India (keeping the country as a whole, not just big cities). So, if you were to take an average 8-year old from India, he wouldn't get very far in a spelling bee. At the end of the day, I feel it all boils down to how competitive you are in these things...

As for long names. Dude...have you seen some of the Scandinavian ones?

balls4boybands said...

plus they spell out all their lyrics when they sing their popular music.