Top ten reasons you are an undecided voter

1. Your lifelong dream is to be in a focus group so you can meet CNN's Soledad O'brien

2. You aren't sure whether Joe the plumber is really a plumber, or even named Joe.

3. Either Obama is a communist, a socialist, and an Arab terrorist, or McCain is a really good liar.

4. You want McCain to mention that he met Bob the Builder before he gets your vote.

5. You are in your ninth year of undergrad studies and are still undeclared.

6. You know Biden is going to say something retarded, but you think Sarah Palin might be retarded.

7. You're more interested in who Paris Hilton picks as her assistant.

8. You like Obama, but you love Tina Fey and want to see her on SNL more.

9. You want to make sure that you are a real Pro American before you cast your vote.

10.You're a Democrat, but you bought the Palin porno and got too attached.