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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Mark Zuckerberg remakes the constitution

Mark Zuckerberg: Eww this constitution is so Eww it really needs to have some changes made.

Thomas Jefferson: Changes? What changes pray tell should we make to the constitution it's nearly a document of perfection and my life's work?

Mark Zuckerberg: Omg have you seen me fiddle with Facebook. Every document even the Constitution, should be fiddled with every three months, even if the changes make the document worse.

Ben Franklin: What do you suggest Mark?

Mark Zuckerberg: First we got to get rid of this We the people crap. We need more room for pictures at the top and status updates. I just changed my status on the top of the constitution to Mark Zuckerberg is fixing up the constitution. Needs lot of work... LOL

Thomas Jefferson: Why do we need pictures at the top of the constitution?

Mark Zuckerberg: Don't you want to see what Johnny A and Georgie W are up to? I bet they are taking some awesome drunken pics with John Handcock.

Ben Franklin: It's Hancock.

Mark Zuckerberg: Whatevs. Just changed my status update to Ben Franklin is Bifocalsexual. LOL. Oh by the way Thomas Jefferson you just got a constitution relationship request from Sally.

Thomas Jefferson: I know no such Sally. Please deny her formal request for indicating we are in a relationship.

Mark Zuckerberg: Too late. Already accepted it. She already posted on the preamble part that you are the baby's daddy. Oh man my version of the constitution is much more entertaining.

Ben Franklin: This is an abomination. What business is it of ours to know of Jefferson's trysts and non political escapades?

Mark Zuckerberg: Apparently everyone's. James Madison just wrote like, and now Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr are arguing over just how big of a scuzzbucket you are Jefferson. This is getting so good.

Thomas Jefferson: Look at the malice and mayhem you are causing with all these changes to the constitution. This needs to stop.

Mark Zuckerberg: I agree I just changed the constitution again to add locations to check in. Paul Revere checked in at the Boston horse shop and the British just got hold of it and stopped him from riding to Lexington.

Ben Franklin: You fool you just got Hancock and Samuel Adams arrested by the King.

Mark Zuckerberg: Oh well one less beer off the market, I'm so sad LOL. Now I'm off to change the status of the Gettysburg address. Later Failing fathers.

4 comments:

kris said...

John Handcock?

Bifocalsexual?

Snort!

I am way immature.

You make me giggle.

Liz said...

Bifocalsexual should be an entry in Urban Dictionary if it already isn't.

Also, this served as a great history refresher course. :)

Static said...

Stay tuned as Mark Zuckerberg remakes "Shameless Marketing 101", "They Trust Me, [Those] 'Dumb Fucks'" and "Do Something First, Then See How People React".

Image said...

A new age in History refresher. Cant believe something can be so interesting also.