Cereal box advice

Have you ever noticed that the back of cereal boxes try to give you advice on how to live your life? They give you lists like ten things you can do instead of watching TV, or ten ways to help the earth. Every single list is the same and they always tell me to go fly a kite. Go fly a kite? How many people still fly kites? I never found kite flying to be very fun as a kid the few times that I got that flying red time waster into the air. The other thing I noticed about cereal box advice is that they never tell people to go take a hike. I guess it's cause they are afraid of potentially offending people if they take that phrase the wrong way. I'm pretty sure that most people would be able to figure out that they didn't mean go take a hike you fat lazy blob.

Also why does a cereal box get to usurp so much authority and tell everyone what they should or should not do with their free time? I know breakfast is the most important meal of the day but I didn't know that gave cereal boxes the right to be Dr. Phil, Oprah, the mayor, and my parents all rolled into one. Only those people can try to tell me what to do. The other thing I've noticed is that when cereal boxes tell you what to do they don't set the bar very high. They tell you to go spend time with your family, but never to cure cancer. They tell you to go plant a tree, but never to save the rain forest. They tell you to eat more cereal and not to eat donuts. Just bad advice all around. Take the cereal box power away. Instead of reading the back of cereal boxes go fly a kite, plant a tree, and take a hike.

Leprechauns no more

I have a new theory concerning a creature of mythical proportions. Maybe they aren't mythical at all, they just don't reproduce due to several factors. Oh yes Leprechauns are real indeed, or they used to be real until they let themselves go extinct. Leprechauns don't exist anymore for two reasons: no females in the species and Leprechauns are gay. For proof that there are no female leprechauns just turn to television, movies, and books. I've never seen a female leprechaun and I would say it would be near impossible to be a female leprechaun, because all leprechauns have beards. Ah you say Lucky the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms doesn't have a beard. Lucky is a dwarf who killed a leprechaun, stole its identity, and found glorious cereal treasures. It all worked out for him.

Now as far as Leprechauns being gay my theory is this. First their pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow which is kinda gay. Second with no female leprechauns to breed with the boyos have to shamrock each others worlds. Thus with no ways to reproduce all leprechauns have gone extinct. What the leprechauns should have done was invest their gold money into cloning or test tube leprechauns so they could have danced jigs till the end of time. How did Leprechauns get on the planet in the first place? They evolved from monkeys. Tiny lucky monkeys or magic.