Final Text!

The use of text messaging has to come with its own unique set of rules and one of those rules is the final text. Final text is the text that you send out after a string of text messages that were for the most part important or entertaining but now you got to move on and do something else or your driving or something. You must execute a final text or else the texting could last for days and you’ll wake up in a guatamala prison for not being able to pay your cell phone bill (unless you have unlimited texting). Now final texts are difficult and they have a different set of rules depending whether the texts are two males texting, opposite sex texting, or two females texting.

First lets get to males. For guys the best way to execute a final text is to text the word cool. Thus you acknowledge the other texter and that the conversation was cool. They really have no way to send another text unless they are not cool cause the word cool defines brevity. For a female who is getting a large amount of texts for a male the best final text is the tried and true “I got to wash my hair” or “my mom just called” instant final text. For a male getting a large amount of texts from a female the best final text is the smiley face. Its polite and you can’t really get mad about it ladies if you get the smiley face. For female to female texting the best final text is…. oh there is none. You can text each other for days and you know it. I’m kidding, I don’t really know what the final text is for female to females since I’m a dude but I’m sure you ladies have some so let me know what they are.

To bee all you can bee

Bees are amusing to me. In a moment they can go from pollinating flowers to going on a one bee suicide mission just to sting one human who has pissed them off. Dang you are dumb bees learn to control your emotions. You have so much honey to make, flowers to hump, and a big fat queen bee to protect. You have a purpose. But then I thought to myself what if humans had the same capabilities a bee had and could sting the crap out of someone that pissed them off but it would end their lives instantly. Most of us would be able to control ourselves and remember that although we would love to sting somebody it wouldn't be worth it in the long or short run because we'd be freaking dead. Not me though I would have used my sting a long time ago. That boss that yelled at me when I'm sick, boom you're stung jerk and I'm dead. The girl that dumps me by text message, you're stung you heartless technology queen and i'm obliterated. The mcdonalds worker that only gave me two creams and two sugars when i said two creams and three sugars. Ok maybe I wouldn't sting that guy but I would wave my butt around demanding my Sugary dues! lol. Don't let it happen again. So next time before you laugh at bees like me and call them stupid think about how having an instant death stinger when you are pissed off and not thinking clearly could kinda be a pain in the ass. Us humans could learn a few things from bees. Don't lose your temper, and don't hump a plastic flower. it's simple.