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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

To bee all you can bee

Bees are amusing to me. In a moment they can go from pollinating flowers to going on a one bee suicide mission just to sting one human who has pissed them off. Dang you are dumb bees learn to control your emotions. You have so much honey to make, flowers to hump, and a big fat queen bee to protect. You have a purpose. But then I thought to myself what if humans had the same capabilities a bee had and could sting the crap out of someone that pissed them off but it would end their lives instantly. Most of us would be able to control ourselves and remember that although we would love to sting somebody it wouldn't be worth it in the long or short run because we'd be freaking dead. Not me though I would have used my sting a long time ago. That boss that yelled at me when I'm sick, boom you're stung jerk and I'm dead. The girl that dumps me by text message, you're stung you heartless technology queen and i'm obliterated. The mcdonalds worker that only gave me two creams and two sugars when i said two creams and three sugars. Ok maybe I wouldn't sting that guy but I would wave my butt around demanding my Sugary dues! lol. Don't let it happen again. So next time before you laugh at bees like me and call them stupid think about how having an instant death stinger when you are pissed off and not thinking clearly could kinda be a pain in the ass. Us humans could learn a few things from bees. Don't lose your temper, and don't hump a plastic flower. it's simple.


myktoronto said...

That's a great analogy! Bitchin' concept too! "I'll show you...I'll kill me!" bees don't have it so bad. They sleep all winter, know exactly what their purpose is and dammit you get to fly for free. It could be nasty though if you were allergic to flowers!

I always thought if I could have one power it would be the ability to induce instantaneous uncontrollable diarrhea on anyone that twigged me; MacDonalds guy for instance. Not as harmful as a sting but twice as nasty! Maybe a govt. employee or two!

Brilliant post Mr. Soge!

nepspeed82 said...

Yeah, don't hump on plastic flowers like love and sex dolls.

But don't you think they're much better an option than self-loving or nothing at all.

J. C. said...

wow what a great sublime in this post of everything that really matters. I enjoyed it. this reminded me of a famous Argentinian writer Borges - in a few sentences he was able to say so much.