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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Salem witches: Why they got burned

Have you ever wondered what it was like to be alive during the puritan era of the 1600's? No? In this blog I want to give some of my theories as to why so many woman were labeled as witches and burned at the stake. Maybe they really were witches and weren't sharing the eye of newt with the rest of the village, but it seems unlikely. I think women were called witches in the 1600's if they had brooms but didn't clean. "Abby, please go clean the attic before the rodents appear." "No father I refuse." "She's a witch burn her!" Poor Abby she was probably going to clean later but she had church to go to at the time. If you refused to do the butter churn, you would have to instantly burn.

Also it was very convenient to label women as witches if you were a gameless guy and couldn't get a date with the girl that you liked. "Hey I think we should make out" "No thanks i'm not interested" "She's diddled Lucifer for fortnights, burn her!" Very mature guys. I bet they had giant bonfire parties for the girls, oh i mean witches, that didn't put out. What a great society that had to be. Salem either handed out burnings at the stakes like coupons for arbys or smallpox for those lucky indians.

1 comment:

Sue said...

I'm originally from Massachusetts, and have been to Salem a few times. If you're ever there check out the Salem Witch Museum, it's really cool.