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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Vampires always get the girl

With the movie twilight pulling in 70 million opening weekend its safe to say that the ladies love vampires. The vampire as a romantic character has existed throughout time and the fascination by women with vampires is to me driven by the whole neck fetish vampires have. Despite their affinity for necks the vampires goal is to not trigger one of the women's erogenous zones, but instead to bite the neck and suck up the blood.

Yet sensitive vampires sell and are all over the place. Sensitive vampires such as Edward from Twilight or Angel from Buffy the vampire slayer will choose hot passion with a mortal over their thirst for blood. Yes usually the vampires cast in movies such as Interview with the vampire and Twilight etc are considered by most women to be good looking guys, but why do vampires get more action than other monsters? Zombies are hideously ugly and I don't believe there has ever been a romantic zombie movie where the zombie gets the normal girl. Perhaps if the zombie decided to eat womens earlobes while first nibbling on their ears to warm up instead of brains he would get more play. Certainly like vampires zombies must occasionally have a sensitive young monster who cares more about the girl than the delicious ear lobe he can devour.

Another thing is why are vampires always skinny? You never see a vampire with a beer belly. They are always fit and in shape. It would be kinda funny to see an out of shape vampire try frantically to find a female to seduce/catch and fail miserably. Vlad the inhaler or something. For some reason I don't think the overweight sensitive vampire will be quite the hit with the ladies.

13 comments:

Eve Grey said...

I'm actually going to see Twilight tomorrow night with the rest of the teenagers.

Kimmylyn said...

Yah.. I saw Twilight..and I plan on going back again.. I am a sick sick woman..and so proud of it..lol..

Pand0ra Wilde said...

I haven't even read the book. However, I got my daughter the first three books in a box set for Christmas.

After seeing the hooraw, maybe I should have read them first? Then again, the year before I got her Slipknot and Marilyn Manson CDs (yes, I know how horrible some think the bands are--I listened to these first, decided my daughter was capable of not doing weird crap just because she heard Manson and let her have them), so it was a tad late for thorough screening of what I gave, so I let her have those too.

That reminds me--I need to figure out what she wants this year. I'm guessing loli wear and a corset.

ciara said...

i don't know why women romanticize vampires, but when they make em like edward *sigh* it's hard not to LOL i saw twilight w my girls. they are going again fri cos their dad's gf's SON wants to see it(maybe vampires get the boys sometimes, too? LOL) i want to go see it again myself.

Don said...

They may be skinny, but you can bet they're not anemic...can't you catch hepatitis from drinking someone else's blood? Maybe a little?

Retarded Drinker said...

Tim have you seen True Blood? There was a fat tub of shit vampire they killed a few episodes ago!

Momisodes said...

Huh. Vampires are usually rather thin aren't they? I'm curious if blood is low in calories.

I haven't seen Twilight yet. I'm guessing I would transform into a squealing girl through it though.

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

Hysterical! You are so right about vampires being skinny! I never thought of that before. So glad to realize that now!

Pand0ra Wilde said...

I've got a promo-type event running at my place--come check my butt out ~winks~

ssgreylord said...

guilty!

David Tamayo said...

Think about it, is there a lower carb diet out there? I don't think so. These guys were doing the Atkins before Atkins was doin' the Atkins. =0)

Anonymous said...

Try TrueBlood on HBO

Ty said...

I found you :)