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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Don't mess with the Bieber

Don't let the mop top fool you. Justin Bieber is a bad ass. He let it be known the other day as he decided to slap a twelve year old who was calling him derogatory names. Nothing says street cred like backhanding a twelve year old. 12 year olds play in little league while Justin Bieber is the big leagues. There is a reason that Ludacris joins forces with Justin Bieber. It's not cause he respects JB it's because he fears JB.

Bieber once performed the Canadian version of Ludacris's hit single "Move bitch get out the way" and changed the words to "Excuse me miss would you please step aside, please step aside." The new version started a rap riot which ended with Ludacris getting a shiner from the Beebs following a mic slap. During the riot Bieber danced/ assaulted ten Canadian mounted police. The horses were unharmed however as JB rode away on one yelling "fuck you Dudley do right motha fuckas."

Bieber is not the innocent heartthrob the media portrays him to be. In grade school instead of playing kick ball, he kicked kids in the balls. Instead of hop scotch, he played drink scotch. Instead of playing house he played get in the kitchen and make me a sammich. Bieber also has a thing for older women disappointing many of his teenage fans. He is a regular on the Desperate Housewives set and can be often be seen buying condoms in bulk at the local costco. He is also applying to become a UFC fighter but the UFC may rule to ban him due to his vicious sharp nail attack. I'm calling my shot right now that Bieber may be this generation's Clint Eastwood.

3 comments:

kris said...

Snort!

"fuck you Dudley do right motha fuckas?"

As he rode away on a police horse?

I love that image!

Also, the phrase "police horse" is making me giggle.

I am all weak this morning.

mommylebron said...

Every time I catch myself humming one of his songs I think of our #dirtylittlesecret! Alas, this is the price I pay for owning tweens! This post? HEEL-arious! *gigglegigglesnort*

Ashley @ It's Fitting said...

Hysterical!