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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Salem Witches

One of our first blogs. I'm reposting it cause no one really read it.

Have you ever wondered what it was like to be alive during the puritan era of the 1600's? No? In this blog I want to give some of my theories as to why so many woman were labeled as witches and burned at the stake. Maybe they really were witches and weren't sharing the eye of newt with the rest of the village, but it seems unlikely. I think women were called witches in the 1600's if they had brooms but didn't clean. "Abby, please go clean the attic before the rodents appear." "No father I refuse." "She's a witch burn her!" Poor Abby she was probably going to clean later but she had church to go to at the time. If you refused to do the butter churn, you would have to instantly burn.

Also it was very convenient to label women as witches if you were a game-less guy and couldn't get a date with the girl that you liked. "Hey I think we should make out" "No thank you I'm not interested." "She's diddled Lucifer for fortnights, burn her!" Very mature guys. I bet they had giant bonfire parties for the girls, oh I mean witches, that didn't put out. What a great society that had to be. Salem either handed out burnings at the stakes like coupons for Arby's or smallpox for those lucky Indians.

8 comments:

john b said...

I visited Salem, MA back in July. It is amazing how the whole witch hunt spread like wild fire. Actually, some of your theories about how witches were called out aren't to far off base. Rumors, gossip and revenge played a major role in who was accused of being a witch and eventually burned, drowned or crushed under the weight of rocks and boulders. Crazy times!

Blog by Donna said...

Yeah, I bet any woman that was "independent" (at least by the 17th Century standards), was labeled a witch.

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

I agree with you (like the Arby's comment)! I always think if I had lived back then I would have been burned just for the heck of it.

Chris Lang said...

That is the oddest blog post I have read in a while.

ssgreylord said...

Aren't bitches the modern day equivalent of witches?

Regretful Morning said...

I'm starting to wish I lived in the 1600's. It would be pretty easy to get a date. "Hi sweety Im ugly as fuck but you're other option is being burned alive".

Disturbed Stranger said...

I read your blog :)

I don't know how the Puritans labled themselves as devoted Christians... They know nothing about good judgment and mercy.

Have you seen the play "The Crucible"? It's outstanding!

Allison said...

I was always fascinated about the Salem Witches. Probably because I grew up near Salem. Even though the museums are incredibly cheesy, they give off an eerie feel and add to the whole witch thing. I'm glad I wasn't around back in the 1600's!