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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Burger Wars

We've already seen commercials in which one burger company like Jack in the Box makes fun of McDonald's cause of a recent law allowing companies to directly mention/parody their own competition. I'm waiting for these Burger wars to get nasty like the presidential election. Below is an example of Burger King ripping on McDonalds.

Interior Mall of America.

Roland McDon'tald walks into the mall. He is similar to Ronald McDonald in every way except he has purple hair and grey lipstick instead of red hair and red lipstick. He also has a bit of a drinking problem and is stumbling about the mall like a deer that has just been hit by a car. Roland stumbles over to the first group of kids and parents who all look terrified.

Roland McDon'tald: Hey kids and baby makers.

Roland scratches his butt and coughs.

Roland McDon'tald: Lets go eat at McDonald's cause eating shitty poor people food is awesome.

A blond child begins to cry.

Roland McDon'tald: Oh come on. Here, I'll give you a toy.

Roland pulls out a broken beer bottle.

Blond mom: That's not a toy that's a broken beer bottle.

Roland McDon'tald: Give me a break lady I just joined a twelve step program.

Blond mom: Great.

Roland McDon'tald: Yeah I took twelve steps to the fridge to get another beer. I'm loving it.

The lady hits Roland with her purse and then the proverbial Burger King pops up on the screen.

Burger King: I'm the Burger King and I approve this message

Here is McDonalds counter attack ad:

The Burger King and Jack in the Box are passed out in a shack on a bed spooning. Jack wakes up confused and stares at the Burger King before waking him up.

Jack: Hey King wake up. How much heroin did we do last night?

Burger King: I don't know man. A lot... a whole lot.

Jack: We didn't do anything gay did we?

The Burger King smiles coyly.

Burger King: I don't know... you tell me.

Jack: You son of a bitch. You know I'm straight! I even got got out of the hot tub in the swingers commercial.

Burger King: Well you sure liked sausage in your biscuit last night.

Jack: Noooooooooooo!

Burger King: How can you be surprised? I'm always waking up in other guys beds. Wake up with the King.

Then Ronald McDonald pops up.

Ronald McDonald: I'm Ronald McDonald and I approve this message. Eat McDonald's and don't do heroin.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Top ten reasons you are an undecided voter

1. Your lifelong dream is to be in a focus group so you can meet CNN's Soledad O'brien

2. You aren't sure whether Joe the plumber is really a plumber, or even named Joe.

3. Either Obama is a communist, a socialist, and an Arab terrorist, or McCain is a really good liar.

4. You want McCain to mention that he met Bob the Builder before he gets your vote.

5. You are in your ninth year of undergrad studies and are still undeclared.

6. You know Biden is going to say something retarded, but you think Sarah Palin might be retarded.

7. You're more interested in who Paris Hilton picks as her assistant.

8. You like Obama, but you love Tina Fey and want to see her on SNL more.

9. You want to make sure that you are a real Pro American before you cast your vote.

10.You're a Democrat, but you bought the Palin porno and got too attached.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sign Twirling

I find sign twirling as advertising to be very amusing. First of all when they hire the kid to twirl the sign upside down and spin it i can't see what company they are trying to promote. Maybe try a gentle sway or a light dip so i can see the barber shop I've been missing out on. The second thing about sign twirling is that everyone is doing it. In Rancho Bernardo a few months ago there were so many sign twirlers on every corner I was worried that they were going to form gangs. East sign versus West sign. That is a scary proposition. Another thought I just had was do people who sign twirl put sign twirler or sign holder on their resumes? I'm guessing not. Probably they put vice president of urban marketing or something like that.

One way to curb unemployment in this country is to use the homeless as sign twirlers. Homeless people are often holding up signs like will work for food, or veteran, or Why lie? I need a beer. ( I really saw this sign last week) All they need to do is shake the sign a bit more and show some more enthusiasm and they will get what they want from their old sign.

For those readers of mine that are into good music I recommend the rock band trouble in the wind. Take a listen at some of the songs from their myspace page and let me know what you think. Also make sure to enter our blog review contest

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Blog review contest

My buddy Michael Wong and I are putting on a blog review contest. Here are the rules to participate.

1.Simply review both our sites in a few detailed paragraphs

2.Tell us your favorite shirt from

3.Please leave the review URL as a comment on both our blog sites.

The wonderful prizes are these

1st place winner: Free t-shirt of your choice + Reciprocal Review of your blog/ site from me.

2nd place winner: Reciprocal Review of your site from me.

3rd place winner: Small blurb and linkback

Contest closes on Novemember 12th.
The entries will be judged by blogging guru, Bridget Ayers over at

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Financial crisis: What me worry

Everyone knows that the stock market is taking a nose dive and the outlook for the U.S. Economy looks bleak. Financial panic is spreading across this nation, but is it really that big of a financial crisis? Of course it is, yet bad spending habits die hard. Are people cutting back on things that bring entertainment and small doses of happiness like movies or a starbucks latte? Not so much. Beverly Hills Chihuahua was the number one movie at the box office this week making over 29 million dollars. The movie got awful reviews with a 42 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but still people took their kids to see Paris Hiltons talking purse pets chatter away in bad Hispanic accents. Maybe the majority of those seeing this movie are at the top of the wealth elite in this country, but I highly doubt it.

This is America and we're going to keep paying 6 dollars for Milk duds on our credit cards and seeing bad movies like the upcoming unnecessary High School Musical 3. So suck it Fannie and Freddie, stick it where the sun don't shine Lehman brothers, and hit the road you failed banks like Washington mutual cause main street missed your freeway off ramp of shame. What's another 80 trillion in debt? I'll pay you back tomorrow China I swear it right after the Gap clearance sale ends.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Undecided voters

I really can't even fathom the concept of undecided voters this late in the Presidential race. Regardless of what political affiliation or denomination you are it is very clear this year that Obama and McCain pretty much differ on everything. Economic policy, foreign policy, how to handle the war, political ideology you name it the two candidates could not be more different. If you can't make up your mind after a whole year of seeing these guys on every news channel every day then you are unqualified to be voting. Just don't vote. Those that are still undecided must struggle to make decisions on many many things. Paper or plastic. Just pick one.

If you like corporations protected, limited government intervention, a health care tax credit, and staying in Iraq vote for McCain. If you like middle class tax cuts, more government intervention in economic policies, universal health care, and pulling out of Iraq vote for Obama. Its pretty easy to see the huge differences between these two candidates. Even the Odd couple would look at these two and think "dang we could have done a better job at being different." The differences are even further exacerbated when you look at each candidates running mates. If you like someone who is folksy, charming, and a Washington outsider vote for Palin. If you want someone who is experienced, polished, and knowledgeable vote for Biden. This is not apples and oranges this is apples and orangatang's. Step up to the plate undecideds and make your pick.