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Monday, May 12, 2008

"No white boy I cry"

While out this weekend I had the pleasure of seeing some white guys flat out butcher a Bob Marley song like it was a lamb being led to slaughter. Don't even ask me what Bob Marley song it was cause it resembled the song like Tom Cruise resembles the sane. Here are things that don't mix: oil and water, peanut butter and jellyfish ha, and White guys and Bob Marley.

I've accepted that some white guys can rap but they cannot do Reggae, with exhibit A being Snow. Sublime, although awesome, was more ska than reggae and are eliminated due to excessive drug use by their lead singer . No performance enhancing drugs to sing Reggae or else you may accidentally channel that soulful island vibe.

In fact there should be a law against everyone, not just whites, from doing Bob Marley covers. Damien Marley shouldn't do Bob Marley covers and he is a.) his son and B.) talented. Mice need to stay away from mouse traps, fish need to stay away from bears, and White guys should stay away from covering Bob Marley. Bad things are going to happen. Things like a white guy clapping his hands and doing a 360 while trying to piece together a third of the rhythm and melody that Bob Marley displayed is as painful to me as watching a baseball game go extra innings or watching the veggie tales.

11 comments:

Static said...

Oh god, do I ever know what you mean. Ugh, and ferchrissakes if they are going to grow dreads, please don't put beads in them, it just looks like a rat's nest.

ssgreylord said...

So peanut butter and jellyfish don't mix?! I never knew that... here I've been eating it for years. Another great blog from a great writer. Your sense of humor is like DQ vanilla ice cream and hot fudge- a perfect combination...

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

This is my favorite of all your posts so far. You brought a big smile to my face. Thank goodness I have never had to witness such a travesty. I don't know how you survived it!

myk said...

Hmmm...and your brother's band's cover of Stand Alone?

I guess it's kind of like the Iron Chef making Japanese/French Haute Cuisine...like what the hell is that all about? Paté avec bean sprouts and wasabi?

Nice post Maestro.

Clever Elsie said...

it resembled the song like Tom Cruise resembles the sane

ROFL! If you haven't, check out www.freekatie.net for the best Tom Cruise snark.

Susan Cook said...

Jason from "American Idol" sang a Bob Marley song the other night. Horribly. And it was one of the reasons he finally got kicked off the show! Yea! He had awful dreadlocks too. Did you ever see him?

Killlashandra said...

Funny post. :) I have to agree with it too, white folk should stay away from reggae.

J. C. said...

Lol, You did it again man, this reminded me of a friend of mine who is a proud owner of dreadlocks that stretch all the way up to his backwards. He looks dreadful with dreadlocks. It is just that, like you said - mixing water with oil.

GetSmartGal said...

Great post...your too funny!! I agree about Bob Marley there are just certain things you do not try to replicate he is one of them.

One question though since we are in SD - what about Big Mountain...lot of white boys in that group and they are kinda popular? :)

John B said...

Another great post! I hate it when a band just absolutely trashes a cover. I get this weird feeling in my stomach and I just feel sorry and embarrassed for them. I just start thinking, I'm glad that's not me up there. Save yourself, get off the stage!

Anonymous said...

The white boys need to stop impersonating me and covering my songs. Jah says so! Now if you'll excuse me I have a big fattie to smoke...