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Friday, April 25, 2008

80's toys where are they now?

Everyone knows that all the transformers went on to greatness from the 80's except for Jazz because they had to kill the only black robot on the show... racists. But whatever happened to all the other toys from the 80's? There are some interesting and tragic stories to be told. Light brites have ended up at every rave since the 80' s and their brains are pretty much fried. Barbie was tired of dating a man with no penis so she got depressed, ballooned up to 350 pounds, and then spent the rest of Ken's money on lipo. She's now very much a milf in her 40s married to Eduardo an art dealer from Colombia. GI Joe never retired from the Army and is now serving his ninth tour of duty, six of which have been in Iraq. He is pretty much a torso now but he keeps fighting.

My buddy and kid sister were tired of being dragged everywhere so they decided to marry each other and move to the West Virginia Ozarks. Fortunately these inbred loving dolls have been unable to have kids. Powerwheels got jealous of SUV's and have all rolled over and died. The Care bears made a couple of crappy movies but they don't care cause they got paid. They all live in Malibu. My little Ponies went to the glue factory but its a special glitter glue so its not that bad. Mr. Potato head as I said in my last blog is transgendered and is now known as Tangy Tater. Last but not least Teddy Ruxpin has continued his love of marijuana and sleeps on various couches across the country. One of those couches however is Matthew McConaughey's and they play bongos together often.

17 comments:

AmyOops said...

Tag

RULES:
Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment on their blog and tell them they have been tagged, and to come back and read your blog for the whole story.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

ok-you're hysterical!

Being Booga said...

I love Mr Potato Head now Tangy Tater hahaha you're hilarious.

SOGE Shirts said...

If Tangy tater had twins, they'd be the Tangy Tots. LOL Nice work mang.

HMBT said...

OMG! funny stuff! I must go and paint a picture of tangy tater, that's brilliant!

Caoimhin said...

Hmmm...by the 80's I had given up playing with the plastic dolls and had moved on to the real ones! :)

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

You make me laugh everytime I read your blog! Today was no exception and sent me back to the glorious 80's. I loved my lite brite, baby alive and easy bake oven.

myktoronto said...

I especially remember "Slime"...I think I worked for him for a while.

Ya baby! That's the best blog yet I LMAO reading it...so that's where Teddy went...bongos eh...toocool!

Cactus Ryan said...

Gak, maybe ninties but I'm sure it's used in the bedroom someway or another by GI joe and Barbie. Yeah they hooked up. And remember pre bulge pants? Ok I made that up, feel free to steal that idea. Good work tim. The cabbage patch kids all cabbagehandled tinky winky. Nice blog!, haha my follow up comment was terrible!

BillyWarhol said...

lollllll

fRIED or Deep Fried??

Theresa said...

Too funny. So that's what happened to Barbie. What about Strawberry Shortcake? Did she finally come out of the closet and marry one of her fruity friends?

Shine said...

haha very funny, I think some of those as care bears and strawberry shortcake should use their fame to go and do some good shows for kids, their movies are very silly and non smart haha, anyways, very funny :P

Sogeshirtsguy said...

Billy- they are deep fried for sure. Thats a lot of raves.

Theresa- I forgot about strawberry shortcake mostly because I didn't watch that one. She had lady loving friends Theresa? She probably went on to do some "films."

Shine- I wish the Care bears or Strawberry shortcake would contribute one real benefit to the world but alas I think sappy huggs are all they got.

Cactus Ryan- Cabbagehandled is my new favorite made up verb of all time.

nepspeed82 said...

I love G.I. Joes. I have a cobra commander before and a Captain Power (not a GI Joe) I lost them both now.

I wonder how you're getting a lot of Diggs in your post. Mind sharing the secret.

Huckdoll said...

Ha! My Buddy...I was totally thinking of My buddy when we were talking about this post. Good job, Tim...love your humor and style! Keep on keepin' on :) Looking forward to more.

PS. If you ever get into photography, you should get a Teddy Ruxpin and take him on a stoner road trip. Set him up @ 7-11 in the aisle trying to decide between chips or candy..at the Slurpee machine testing the flavors...hanging out behind the school gym rolling...it would be epic dude! I know you could do some sweet photo blog posts with the some photoshop and stuff.

Kimba The White Lioness said...

Damn, I wanna play bongos with Matthew McConaghey!

You are too funny!

I gotta take more work-breaks and drop in more!

Web Goodies 411 said...

That is hilarious!! So funny - laughed all the way through. Great blog, fresh and consistently hysterical.

Oh hey - whatever happened to He-Man & She-Ra??